To Love and Be Loved
by litbuff
Summary: GSR. COMPLETE. An AU story of how Sara and Grissom finally found each other. Not an easy road for them but then, has anything been easy for these two?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any creative right to any CSI character. They belong to CBS and whomever with the big clams at CSI Production Company. To say that I do not own anything or have no money will be downright lying. I do own all six seasons of CSI on DVDs and whatever little money I have, it is earmarked for my kids' college funds so please don't sue me.

**Pairing: **My 'ship has only enough room for GSR. Everyone else, walk the plank!

**Spoilers:** Up to "Grave Danger". Maybe a reference here and there of Seasons 6 & 7.

**Rating: M **due to abusive relationship, sexual violence, and erotic content.

**Summary: **GSR. An AU story of how Sara and Grissom finally found each other. Not an easy road for them but then, has anything been easy for these two?

**A/N:** I would really appreciate any feedback and hope you will enjoy reading my story as much as I enjoy writing it.

* * *

**To Love and Be Loved **

**Author: litbuff**

**Prologue**

The first time it happened, she deserved it.

At the height of her ecstasy, Sara murmured his name. The name that had branded itself to her subconsciousness slipped beautifully out of her moist lips as her body went through the last of the spasms. Suddenly her eyes jerked open as she felt the shocking pain to her jaw. Two angry blue eyes looked down at her in disbelief.

"I am so sorry…" was all she could muster as she recovered from the shock and pain she was feeling at that moment.

"What the hell was that?" Her lover spatted the words venomously at her as he sat up on his heels.

Sara instinctively reached for her bed sheet to wrap her naked self and sprinted from the bed to the sanctuary of her bathroom.

After making sure the bathroom door was locked, she stared at her reflection in the mirror. _Damn it, why couldn't he pick another place on her body to show his jealousy?_ She fingered her jaw to assess the damage. This would definitely bruise. Her mind immediately knew what to do. She had seen her mother did it a million times before and Sara herself too had done it while growing up. She stepped back and sighed… _You look like shit Sidle_…_of all the pathetic things you did in your life, this is probably the lowest of lows…_

She turned away from the mirror and stood with her left ear pressed against the closed bathroom door for what seemed like an eternity before she heard the front door to her apartment slammed shut. He left. With the sigh of relief, she sagged to the floor and pulled her knees up to her chest. Only then did she allow her tears to flow.

Sara did not blame him for being so bitter. Who wouldn't be if the woman you were making love to called out another man's name while in the mist of blissfulness?

* * *

**Chapter 1**

**_Two years earlier – Las Vegas_**

It was very disheartening to witness the love of her life moved on with his life without a second glance. Yes, Sara Sidle was aware of the other women in Gil Grissom's life but somehow this time it was different. Sara knew about these women per courtesy of the gossipy high school environment called the Las Vegas CSI Lab. She was never interested in hearing about other people's private lives. But when it concerned a certain entomologist, Sara was all ears.

First there was Dr. Terri Miller, the renowned anthropologist, sculpturally beautiful and extremely intelligent; she dumped Grissom after their first date because she couldn't tolerate his needs to be consumed by his work. Then came Lady Heather, dominatrix; sexually sensual and understood Grissom's dark side like no other woman; she had put the stop to their fleeting relationship when Grissom unwittingly suspected her for the murders of her employees. And of course who could forget Sofia Curtis, former CSI day shift acting supervisor; young, talented and incorrigibly flirtatious; Grissom nipped it in the bud when he found out that he and the Sheriff were having more things in common than working in law enforcement.

The latest woman in Grissom's life came at the heel of Nick's kidnapping. Nick's ordeal shook everyone to the core, especially Grissom. He had withdrawn even more after that. It was during that period that Catherine decided to play matchmaker. She introduced Grissom to one of her acquaintances.

After Eddie's death, Catherine decided to join a support group for grieving relatives that lost loved ones. There she met Dr. Jan Baker, a clinical psychologist, curly shoulder length blonde hair, petite, forty something and devoted to her career as much as Grissom. At least they had something in common Catherine rationalized. According to Catherine, Dr. Jan Baker and Dr. Gil Grissom seemed to hit it off instantly and one date turned into several.

One night as Sara, Nick, Warrick and Greg were in the break room discussing Greg's latest romantic escapade, Catherine walked in with their assignments. She continued by announcing that Grissom had taken the night off and hinted that if everything should go as planned, everyone should be prepared to congratulate him. The group gave Catherine a confused look before it dawned on everyone as to what those cryptic words meant. Everyone started to speak up at once except for Sara, who just numbly sank back against her chair. Sara might be indifferent on the outside but internally her female instinct drove into overdrive at the realization that her world had just collapsed in seismic proportion and her heart was irresuscitably flat-lined.

* * *

Sara really needed a drink tonight. 

She opened her fridge in search of a beer only to find it empty. She walked back to her sofa, curled up into a bundle and just stared into the darkness. She was dreading what tomorrow would bring.

Sara received Grissom's wedding invitation in the mail one month after Catherine's announcement that fateful night. The next night, Sara had called in sick because she couldn't face the reality that would be waiting for her at the lab. That and partly because of the gigantic hangover, the result of Sara trying to drown her sorrow the minute she was off the clock that morning.

After recovering from her pity party, Sara decided for the sake of everyone involved, she would just concentrate on her job and went about her work professionally. That was easier said than done. Seeing him handing out assignments was tough, verbal interactions concerning ongoing cases between them were even tougher. Sara was trying her best to avoid him and he had let her, which only served to bruise her emotional being even more. She was operating in self-preserving mode but yet it was still not enough. With each tear shed in silent, a part of her soul died a bit more.

The wedding was tomorrow and Sara did not know if she would have enough courage to attend. She did not want to ruin his special day but yet by not showing up, she would have announced to the world that Sara Sidle couldn't face the rejection a man who had meant more to her than life itself. And that was the last thing she wanted.

She did not want pity or sympathy. God, she had enough of that in her childhood to last a lifetime. Growing up in her household was not easy but Sara did not know that. To her, the fighting, the yelling, the trips to the hospital seemed normal enough. What puzzling to the child Sara was the looks she received from the hospital staff. They all seemed to be extra nice to her as compared to the other injured people that arrived at the emergency room.

When she was old enough to understand adult conversation, she would hear her mother explaining to the emergency personnel that Sara's injuries were the results of her clumsiness instead of at the hands of her father. Sara knew something was amiss but she just did not dare to question her mother. And so the lies began until the night her mother decided to end the false pretense of the only life Sara had ever known.

Life was tough growing up but Sara had never given up on love. She had always wanted to love and be loved. Like Newton's Third Law of Motion, she postulated that if she loved enough, she would receive the love back with the same intensity. Somehow her hypothesis just didn't seem to work with humans. She tried to be a good daughter and ended up orphaned. She tried to be the perfect kid in the foster care system and she ended up in six different homes in five years. She tried to be an exemplary student of a brilliant man in hope that he would think of her more than just a mere protégé and ended up with him marrying someone else. Sara wished that she'd have had the chance to meet face-to-face with Sir Isaac Newton and tell him that his theory sucks and she regretted that she majored in Physics.

_God Sidle, you are really depressing… your pity party is already in full swing and not a single drop of alcohol is required…_

Sara stood up abruptly, grabbed her purse and headed out the door.

* * *

_**TBC**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **Again, these CSI characters do not belong to me. I do not own any creative right to any CSI character. They belong to CBS and whomever with the big clams at CSI Production Company so please don't sue me.

**Rating: M **just to be sure.

**A/N:** I would really appreciate any feedback and hope you will enjoy reading my story as much as I enjoy writing it.

* * *

**Chapter 2**

Gentlemen preferred blondes. And Gilbert Grissom was definitely a gentleman.

As he sat at the corner table in a very elegant but crowded restaurant on a Friday night, Grissom was admiring the two women who were his dinner companions. A total stranger could easily have mistaken these ladies as sisters. Blonde, petite, bright blue eyes, pretty, and highly intelligent, everything a man like him would appreciate in a life long friendship.

All blonde women that had traversed his adult life were, for lack of a better word, safe. They didn't threaten his career or his heart. Unlike a certain tall, young brunette who could turn his world upside down with a single gap-tooth smile and threaten his very existence, these women provided him with the companionship he needed without him having to risk everything he had worked so hard to achieve. The emotional part of him wanted so desperately to risk it all just for one taste of gratification with the only woman who had the potential to totally destroy him. But the rational part prevented him from plunging headlong into the abyss and therefore left him with an emotional vacuum that no other woman was able to fill.

"Gil... Earth to Gil Grissom…" One of the blonde women in front of him was trying to capture his attention.

"I am sorry. I was just thinking about tomorrow." Grissom lied quickly as he snapped out of his reverie.

"A case of cold feet Gil?" It was Catherine Willows who spoke this time. "I never thought I'd see the day Gil Grissom has the pre-nuptial jitter bug."

"I am an entomologist… I am good with bugs." Grissom tilted his head a little and grinned at her, trying to change the subject.

"I was just saying that I am forever thankful that Catherine here introduced us Gil." His fiancée, Jan Baker, chose to ignore his humor and instead smiled at him with the controlled upward curve of her lips that he knew so well. "Without her, I would never have found you."

"Then we shall make a toast to Catherine for looking out for our interests." Grissom winked at Jan as he raised his wineglass. Grissom could be a perfect gentleman when he wanted to and he could flirt with the best of them… But when he was around a certain someone, his tongue just seemed to render itself lifeless. _You are walking dangerous grounds Gil… Get your mind off of her… you are not prepared for the consequences if you head down that road…_

"… And now my turn. To my best friend and his soul mate…" Catherine was definitely a people person.

Grissom started to grow impatient with this entire pleasantry. Funny how years ago, he would have enjoyed something like this, dinner, wine, and great company. Now, he was just going through the motions and his friends and colleagues blamed it on his eccentricity. He had learned to hide so well behind a mask of indifference that everyone just accepted the fact that he had no feelings at all. Little did they know that on the contrary, the real Gil Grissom was full of emotions. He had the capacity to love so intense that it became his biggest weakness. His passion emerged from the poetic words of William Shakespeare and only one woman was able to bring out that side of him so effortlessly.

"Darling, I think it's getting late and you seem tired." Jan touched Grissom's hand to get his attention for the second time tonight. "How about we call it a night?"

"Huh? Yeah… sure." Grissom was distracted. His future wife noticed it too and she was definitely concerned.

* * *

"Aren't you coming in Gil?" Jan inquired as Grissom stood hesitantly outside the door to her two-story house. 

"I don't think it's a good idea." Grissom's mind was somewhere else and he preferred to be alone with his thoughts at the moment. "Tomorrow will be a busy day and I think both of us should get some rest."

"I promise you will get plenty of rest once you are satiated." She offered suggestively as her fingers tugged on the lapel of his dinner jacket. "Have I told you how yummy you look all dressed up?"

Grissom smiled gratefully at the lovely woman in front of him as he gently removed her hand from his chest and bent down to kiss her cheek. "Good night Jan." And with that, he retreated back to his car as Jan Baker stood at her threshold looking quite furious.

_

* * *

What the hell is going on Gil? That was not a good way to start a lifelong relationship…you practically ran out on her… _

Grissom came into this relationship by pure loneliness and fear. Jan was a fun and intelligent distraction at the moment in his life when he needed it the most. Even though her endless psychoanalytical speeches could be interesting but tiresome at times, Grissom reasoned that his entomological analysis of the insect world would have bored her to death as well. At least both of them were dedicated in their fields of expertise.

Jan Baker was not by any means traditional and neither was he. So when she proposed to him that night many months ago, Grissom had accepted the offer before he had the time to think things over. Jan, like him, had come to the crossroads where she wanted a companion in life. She needed an open-minded, intelligent man who would understand her needs to be independent yet attached at the same time. Looking back, he was lonely and the fear of being alone for the rest of his life had driven him into the arms of a woman that Grissom could safely say that he did not love.

Was love required for one to have when entering a marriage or did it develop after the "I do's"? His mother always said that as you get to know the right person, the love will grow but she failed to mention in which context the love exists. Was he expecting too much from his relationship with Jan? She was his equal in every aspect. She had both brain and looks. The sex… well, he couldn't complain since she was a psychologist after all, she knew what men and women desired in their mates. But afterward, he felt… what?… empty?… sad? Something was missing in his life and he suspected he knew the culprit. Yet, he was incapable of doing anything about it.

Every time he wanted to extricate himself from _her_, _she_ somehow was able to come back and haunt his thoughts a thousand fold. As he drove around tonight to clear his head, thoughts of Sara Sidle overwhelmingly assaulted his senses and Grissom had unconsciously driven toward her apartment without realizing it.

As he sat in his car looking up at her apartment in the darkness, he was tempted to just walk up there and confess his feelings for her. But his damned rational side prevented him from doing so. After ten minutes of indecision, Grissom turned on his car engine and drove away.

* * *

As Grissom headed down the deserted highway toward destination unknown, he spotted a car on the shoulder lane with a very familiar figure haunched over the rear passenger side tire. Grissom's blue vintage Mercedes came to a stop behind that car. He got out and walked toward the young woman who was busy changing her flat tire. 

"Sara? Are you ok?" Sara looked up in surprise to find Grissom coming toward her.

"Hey."

"Are you alright?" He asked again. "You need any help?"

"Uh… no… not really…" Sara was still reeling from the fact that Grissom was standing there in front of her. "It's just a flat tire. I got everything under control… but… uh… thanks for asking…" She feigned the excuse of putting the last lug nut on the tire so she could look away quickly from his inquiring eyes.

He knelt down to her eye level and examined the tire in front of her. As he glanced back at Sara in the half shadow of the beam from her flashlight, he found that her eyes were swollen and they were still brimming with tears. Instinctively he reached out to touch her hand only to find Sara immediately pulled away from him.

"Please let me help you with that," Grissom gestured at the lug nut wrench.

She couldn't trust her voice anymore so she just silently handed him the wrench and swiftly stood up, grabbed her damaged tire and headed toward the trunk of her car. Something about this man that made her emotions go haywire every time he was in close proximity.

Within minutes, Grissom was at her side to return the wrench.

"Sara… can we talk?" Grissom asked quietly.

"Now is not a good time Griss…" She was trying so very hard not to break down in front of him and he was not helping.

"When will it be a good time for you?"

_Never… there will never be a good time to talk… not anymore…_ Instead Sara replied wearily, "What is it that you want from me?"

"I just want to know if you are alright."

"For the record, I am quite alright so you can just go home and …" Sara stopped short of …_and cuddle up with your fiancée and prepare for your new life together… _

He could feel the exasperation in her voice. He did not dare to say anything more than simply stated, "You don't look like it."

"Thanks but I think I have had better days." She continued before he had the chance to interrupt her. "Look, I have just finished pulling a double shift on a rape case in Henderson and quite frankly, I am so physically drained right now that I don't think I am a very good person to hold a conversation with."

"I am here now if you want to talk about it." He offered.

"Wow Grissom, I see all that shrink stuff is rubbing off on you." _Shit, did she just say that? Great job Sidle…_ "I am so sorry Griss. I didn't mean it… shouldn't have said anything. Just a bad habit of over talking when you're around."

Seeing that Grissom wasn't about to comment, Sara automatically gave him a forced smile, "You look great. I have never seen you dress up except for court."

"Thank you." He could barely get the words out as he looked into her pained eyes.

"Hey, um… I… I haven't gotten the chance to personally congratulate you on your impending wedding… so…um… congratulations… I am happy for you…" There, she said it and managed to pull it off with her dignity still intact.

"Are you?"

"Excuse me?" His question caught her off guard.

"Are you really happy about it?" Grissom did not know if he wanted to hear her answer.

"My happiness doesn't calculate into this equation." She crossed her arms in front of her and looked away from him toward the night lights of Las Vegas in the distance.

"It does to me."

"Look Griss, you are getting married tomorrow and moving on with your life and I, as a friend… and I really hope that we're still friends… am supposed to be happy for you…" Sara took a deep breath and surveyed her feet, "I will be lying if I say that I am happy about it… but you made your decision and I respect that… so I…" _You can do this Sidle… hold yourself together… do not humiliate yourself by breaking down now…_

"What are you asking me to do Sara?" Grissom was fighting his inner demons concerning this beautiful woman in front of him and held onto that last ounce of will power that was preventing him from taking her in his arms, wiping away her tears and telling her that everything would be alright. He should do something but instead he just stood there, immobile.

"I am not asking you to do anything… I am not asking you to love me Griss… I… all I am asking is… is to let me love you and apparently… that's still not enough." Grissom was stunned. He was at a lost for words and before he could put together something coherent, Sara just turned and walked toward the driver side door of her car, "You know what… just… just forget about it…"

_Careful Gil… You are starting a new chapter of your life tomorrow… Let her go…_ But he did not listen to his rational mind this time. Instead, he grabbed Sara with both hands, quickly backed her up against her car and kissed her like he had fantasized so many times before. After the initial shock, the kiss was returned with the fierceness of its own.

Before things could get out of hand in a very public place, Sara slipped out of Grissom's embrace and just stared at him as her left fingers absently touched her lower lip.

"Sara… I…" His voice was hoarse.

"Don't do this to me Griss… I don't want to be the other woman…" She was barely audible.

"I…" His tongue failed him again.

She waited a whole minute before uttering, "I see…" She nodded to herself as she steeled her heart for the last goodbye.

Before Grissom and Sara had the chance to say anything else, they both turned their heads toward the blinding headlights of a red pickup truck that was plowing directly at them.

_**

* * *

TBC**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **Again, these CSI characters do not belong to me. I do not own any creative right to any CSI character. They belong to CBS and whomever with the big clams at CSI Production Company so please don't sue me.

**Rating: M **just to be sure for later chapters.

**A/N:** I would like to thank those of you who reviewed and for your encouragement. If you didn't have time to review, thanks for spending the time to read my story all the same. Again, I would really appreciate any feedback and hope you will enjoy reading my story as much as I enjoy writing it.

* * *

**Chapter 3**

"Sara, Sara Sidle?"

Sara looked up from her chair in the hospital waiting room to find an elegant looking woman regarding her inquisitively.

"Yes?"

"Hello, I am Dr. Jan Baker, Gil Grissom's fiancée." Jan's philosophy in life and her doctrine of profession were to face fear head on. And this young brunette was her nightmare.

Sara gave her the look of a deer caught in the headlights. It was always good to have the upper hand in a conversation Jan thought satisfactorily.

"I heard that you were with Gil when the accident happened and just want check if you are alright," _it doesn't hurt to be diplomatic…_ "And thank you for getting him help immediately even though he's still a bit of a mess…" _And a little guilt trip goes a long way…_

"May I?" Jan pointed to the chair beside Sara's and sat down before Sara had the chance to finish "Yeah, sure."

Jan turned her head to face her nemesis and continued, "I know we have never met but I have heard so much about you."

Sara was astonished to find Grissom's fiancée to be so composed as compared to Sara's mental and emotional turmoil.

Jan looked down at her hands as her manicured fingers played with the engagement ring, "Funny how life takes a turn for the worst when you least expect it. Gil and I should be preparing for our wedding instead of him in intensive care fighting for his life."

"How is he?" Sara finally asked. Since she was not an immediate family member, Sara was not allowed to see Grissom until he was moved out of ICU. Until then, all she could do was wait.

"They put him on a ventilator for his collapsed lung and a lot of pain medications for his other injuries like the broken sternum and femur." Jan answered mechanically.

Sara remained silent as her brain tried to register Grissom's injuries.

"Sara, what happened last night?" Jan interrupted Sara's thoughts. "What were you two doing out there in the middle of nowhere?"

Jan's questions caught Sara by surprise even though they shouldn't have. Sara's memory of the night before was like a slideshow programmed to loop endlessly in her mind. Flashing images cascaded sporadically upon one another as they replayed the events of Grissom's and Sara's roadside conversation, their passionate kiss, her pulling away from him, the blinding lights, her being thrown across the road and ended with Grissom pinned between the truck and her car.

Sara did not know where to begin and how to explain what had transpired. And so she settled for an abridged half-truth, "I had a flat tire… and Grissom happened to be driving by so he stopped to help me. We just didn't see the truck coming at us… I am so sorry…"

"I see." Jan's trained eyes could figure that there was more to the story than what Sara was telling her and last night's events had confirmed her worst suspicion about Gil's harbored feelings for this woman.

Gil mentioned Sara's name once during a conversation with Jan early on in their relationship. It was more of a Freudian slip than intentional. Being an understanding girlfriend that she was, Jan never confronted him about the mysterious Sara but had stored away that piece of information to be researched at a later date. And Catherine Willows had not disappointed her.

Their history was long and complicated. According to Catherine, Gil brought Sara to Las Vegas after the shooting of a rookie CSI and she stayed on after the rookie's death. He told the team that Sara was someone he trusted. She was his hand picked protégé. He was hoping to continue where they left off in San Francisco but had to quickly bury whatever feelings he had for her after the dynamic of the relationship changed to supervisor-employee. His last shred of hope dissipated the day he found out Sara was dating another man, a much younger man than Grissom. And things were never the same after that.

Sara's loss was her gain. Jan Baker's competitive streak had never allowed her to give up a fight before and she wasn't about to let Sara Sidle destroy her carefully constructed future.

* * *

"Hey." Sara greeted Grissom with a smile as she entered his hospital room. 

"Hey." Grissom scanned her tired face.

"You're awake. Well rested?" She asked softly.

"You're not." He was assessing her. Sara had been his constant companion since he moved out of ICU two weeks ago. If she was not at work, she was by his bedside. Once he tried to convince her to go home and rest after he found her falling asleep in her chair but in the end Sara's stubbornness had won out.

Sara set her book bag down to the floor as she sat down on the chair facing his bed. "Just got off from work. Besides, you forget that I can go on for days without sleeping."

"I didn't forget but you need rest too instead of being here babying me." His dark blue eyes reflected the tenderness he felt for her.

Sara blushed at the "babying" comment and decided against saying anything that could potentially embarrass them both. Instead she held up two books, "Ok, today you get to choose the Dark Ages or the Middle Ages, _Beowulf_ or Chaucer's _Canterbury Tales_?"

"_Beowulf_." Grissom beamed at her, "I feel invincible this morning."

Sara was mesmerized by his playfulness as she shyly looked down and opened the chosen book. She sat back in her chair and without preamble, began to read, _"LO, praise of the prowess of people-kings… of spear-armed Danes, in days long sped… We have heard, and what honor the athelings won…" (__1)_

Her voice was soothing music to his ears. Reading _Beowulf _to himself was nothing compared to hearing the words flowing from Sara's lips. Her melodic voice added so many new dimensions to the adventures of the Anglo-Saxon hero that it had Grissom totally captivated.

They fell comfortably into their daily routine. She read and he listened. They did not need to verbalize to have a conversation. Their eyes spoke volume and for the first time in a long time, Grissom caught a glimpse of hope in the pair of vivacious brown pools that were partially hidden behind lashes that seemed to extend forever. As he stole an occasional glance at Sara, he realized that he was addicted to her voice and her moving lips. In fact, he was addicted to her. She was a drug that was more potent in his recovery than all the chemicals that were coursing through his veins.

"I hope I am not interrupting anything." Both Grissom and Sara were startled by the female voice coming from the doorway.

Jan moved swiftly to Grissom's bedside and kissed him passionately on the lips. "How have you been Gil? Resting comfortably?"

"I am good. Thanks." Grissom was clearly uneasy with Jan's display of affection and more importantly with Sara witnessing it.

If Jan Baker was out to make Sara felt like a third wheel, she definitely succeeded. Sara just stared at the scene unfolded before her and decided she needed to leave. Gesturing the door with her left thumb as she got up from her chair, "Um… I think I am going to grab some coffee from the cafeteria and… uh… I'll see you later Griss… Nice seeing you again Jan…"

"Same here Sara." Jan nodded in Sara's direction as Sara hurriedly picked up her bag and left the room.

* * *

"Sara? Can we talk?" Sara turned her head to find Grissom's fiancée walking toward her. 

"Sure…" Sara nodded her head but unsure about what Jan had to say. Jan sat down in front of Sara as she prepared to go on the offensive.

"I hope you don't take this the wrong way and I hope you understand where I am coming from with this conversation." Jan always believed in getting straight to the point. "I know that you and Gil were close once. I have no problem with that and I have no problem with you visiting him at the hospital as a friend since you have that right."

It dawned on Sara as to what this "talk" was all about. "I think you misunderstood me…"

"Did I?" Jan gave Sara a penetrating look. "You were with him the night of the accident and you have spent every waking moment here. How do you feel when you see a woman from your fiancé's past keeping a vigil at his bedside?"

"It's not what you think…" _He doesn't love me… And we never had a past since he never loved me…_

"Between woman and woman, please don't be upset when I say that you shared a past with him but I am his present and future." Jan could be very condescending when she wanted to. "Let's just hope that we have a clear understanding concerning this situation."

Sara totally understood where Jan was coming from. "You don't have to worry about me."

"Great! I am so glad we had this talk." And with that, Jan stood up and walked out of the cafeteria.

Sara heaved a sigh as she picked up her coffee but decided she did not want it anymore. As she got up to go home, she contemplated stopping by and saying goodbye to Grissom one last time. When Sara approached his door, she could hear Jan's animated voice coming from Grissom's room. She stopped in her track momentarily and regressed back down the hospital corridor.

* * *

"Sara, what is the matter with you?" Catherine grew agitated with the younger woman as they walked down the hallway of the Las Vegas Crime Lab. "Are we going to have a second round at this?" 

"You know that guy is guilty of raping and killing Samantha James and yet, you let him off easy!" Sara referred back to the suspect they just interrogated.

"Two different vaginal DNA contributions were gathered on the victim Sara. Even though autopsy confirmed consensual and forced intercourse, that only proved that he had sex with the victim, raped at the most but not killed her." The older woman was playing devil's advocate.

"He has several priors on assault with a deadly weapon against the vic and she even had a restraining order against him. Why was he having sex with her right before her death?" Sara's flush of anger was evident on her face.

"How the hell should I know?" Catherine said adamantly. "But that still doesn't prove that he killed her."

Sara just shook her head in disbelief. _Thanks to you Catherine, that creep of a killer is probably skipping town as we're standing here talking…_

"Sara, I think you are letting your personal problems interfering with your work." Catherine hit a nerve and Sara immediately eyed her with suspicion.

_No one except Grissom knows about her past. How did Catherine find out? _

"Are you seeing Grissom behind Jan's back?" Catherine was being her nosy self in the guise of Jan's protector.

"I beg your pardon?" Sara quickly tried to reassess Catherine's line of thought.

"You were with him the night of the accident and Jan said that you have been with him every day in the hospital. Are you having an affair with Grissom?"

Sara felt indignant by Catherine's audacity. "You know, I don't have to justify my actions to you or anyone. The police filed a report on the accident and I am sure you or Jan can read it if you choose to."

"Sara, Grissom is a good man. His conscience will eat him up if he has to give in to temptation. If you truly care for him, let him go."

To have two different women threw unwarranted accusations at her within the last twenty four hours had finally pushed Sara over the emotional breaking point. "Catherine, just because Eddie cheated on you while you two were married doesn't mean that all men do it."

Catherine did not appreciate the fact that the conversation had redirected at her and before Sara knew it, she felt Catherine's angry right hand landed on her left cheek with a resounding smack.

* * *

"Sidle! In my office, now!" Sara had a sense of déjà vu the minute she heard Ecklie shouting her name. 

"This is the second time in the last twelve months that you were being insubordinate with Supervisor Willows!" Ecklie practically yelled at her as she stepped inside his office.

"She is not my supervisor!" Sara retorted.

"When you sent Grissom to the emergency room weeks ago, you effectively made Catherine Willows your acting supervisor! I expect you to give her the respect she deserves and not to argue with her in the middle of the lab!"

"The disagreement was not work related." Sara said simply.

"Doesn't matter. This time I expect a full public apology and nothing less."

Ecklie wanted a public hanging and Sara refused to let him have the satisfaction. "It's not going to happen."

"Grissom is not here to cover for you this time so I suggest you'd better think twice if you want to keep your job."

"I quit!"

"Good, you just saved yourself from being fired." Ecklie smirked triumphantly.

* * *

Sara had a bad day and it showed. As she cleaned out her locker, she realized that today's events just proved that there was nothing left for her here in Vegas. With her decision made, Sara took out the envelope that had resided in her locker for the past two months. She opened up the letter and scanned its content. Sara then flipped open her cell phone and dialed the number within. 

"Hello?… hi… this is Sara Sidle from the Las Vegas Crime Lab. I am wondering if that position you offered me still available?" She nodded to herself as she listened intently to the person on the other end. "Great, yeah…I shall be available to work in a couple of weeks… great… thank you."

As Sara hung up the phone, she looked around at Nick's, Warrick's and Greg's lockers. They were all out in the field at the moment and by the time they got back, she would be long gone. It was for the best that there wouldn't be any good-bye.

Sara walked out of the locker room and headed toward Grissom's office. As she left her letter of resignation along with her badge, her standard 9mm issue, and her work cell phone on Grissom's desk, Sara surveyed his office for the last time and closed her eyes briefly as she inhaled deeply the scent that epitomized everything Grissom. Opening her eyes again, she slowly stepped out of his office and out of his life forever.

* * *

_**TBC **_

**A/N**: (1) _Beowulf_ online modern text version by "Beowulf in Hypertext".


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **Again, these CSI characters do not belong to me. I do not own any creative right to any CSI character. They belong to CBS and whomever with the big clams at CSI Production Company so please don't sue me.

**Rating: M **just to be sure.

**A/N:** I would like to thank those of you who reviewed and for your encouragement. It really means a lot to me. If you didn't have time to review, thanks for spending the time to read my story all the same. Again, I would really appreciate any feedback and hope you will enjoy reading my story as much as I enjoy writing it.

* * *

**Chapter 4**

"Damn!" Sara hissed under her breath as she pulled her blue Mini Cooper to a stop. As she mentally prepared to donate some of her hard earned money back to the county, Sara glanced into her side view mirror to find a very tall, broad shouldered San Francisco finest marching haughtily toward her car.

Sara rolled down her driver side window and stared straight into a pair of reflective sunglasses. "Officer."

"Ma'am. Did you know that you were speeding back there?" The police officer gestured with a curt tilt of his head.

"Sorry but I wasn't paying attention."

"License, registration and insurance please Ma'am."

Sara reached for her wallet and pulled out the necessary papers.

"You work for the Crime Lab?" The Officer pointed to her badge that was dangling from the rear view mirror as he accepted the paperwork from Sara.

"Oh, yeah… yeah." Sara acknowledged with a nod.

The Officer briefly scanned her IDs and quickly handed them back to Sara. "I am just going to give you a warning this time but please slow down and drive carefully."

"Thank you Officer…" Sara tried to be polite.

"Blake Edwards." The sunglasses gave her a bemused look. "I'll see you around Ms. Sara Sidle."

* * *

"You're late." Mattie Bradford said simply as Sara walked into the office they shared for the past year. 

"Got held up in traffic… by a pair of reflective sunglasses." Sara smirked to herself as Mattie waited patiently for a detailed explanation.

"Got stopped by a cop for speeding." Sara elaborated with the unglamorous facts.

Mattie nodded her head in understanding. "Did you flash him one of your charismatic smiles and get out of the ticket?"

"He saw my CSI badge and let me go with a slap on the hand. Which is good since I don't think I want to waste unnecessary money on the day before my first vacation in years."

"Was he good looking?" Mattie asked with a straight face.

"Mattie, you need a boyfriend."

"And you need to get laid." Mattie quipped as Sara bursted into laughter.

Mattie Bradford, the five-foot-six stocky strawberry blonde with the Bette Midler face, and Sara Sidle became fast friends when Sara first came to the San Francisco Crime Lab over a year ago. Mattie had helped her transitioned smoothly and assisted her in navigating the bureaucratic minefield of the lab. Sara did not mind having to prove herself all over again and the whole process was quite refreshing.

Leaving Las Vegas was the hardest thing that Sara had done in her life but was a necessity for her own mental and emotional survival. Looking back Catherine was correct when saying that her personal life, in a way, was affecting her job. If Ecklie had not pushed her into the proverbial corner, Sara would have eventually left Vegas on her own accord. Seeing Grissom suffered after the accident broke her heart but voluntarily watching him with another woman would have practically amounted to a self-assassination. She could withstand any physical pain but would not have survived an emotional asphyxiation.

Sara spent a good portion of the past year trying to forget the life she had left behind in Vegas. Mattie and Sara shared the title of "Queens of Overtime." Mattie had no life to live and Sara had no home to go to. But on those occasions when the overtime was maxed out and no criminal to track down, Sara was forced to face the flooded memories of the man who had caused her so much pain. Her only comfort was the knowledge that he had found happiness, granted with someone else, but that was just enough for her to persevere through another lonely day.

"So what are you going to do with your week off?" Mattie broke Sara's train of thought.

Sara's lips thinned in concentration before answering, "I really need to unpack. Sadly, my apartment doesn't look lived in at all."

"Join the club and I have lived here for the past six years." Mattie frowned as she stood up preparing to leave. "Hey, I have to go harass David in ballistics about the bullets from last week's drive-by. Wanna come?"

"Can't. Need to finish logging all the evidence from the Jane Doe decomp before I leave today." Sara replied as she picked up her lab coat and followed Mattie out the door of their shared office.

* * *

"Hello Gil!" Dr. Simon McKee greeted his old friend. "What are you doing here?" 

"I was in Berkeley for a lecture and thought I'd drop by to see you." Grissom shook hands with his former college buddy and the current Medical Examiner for the City of San Francisco. "How have you been?"

"Good. How is the crime rate in Vegas these days? I heard you have been performing forensic miracles over there Gil."

"No, not me. It's my team that does all the hard work." With a quirked eyebrow, Grissom shook his head as he gave his team the credits.

"Always the humble one." Simon pointed his index finger at his friend. "Like teacher, like student."

"I don't understand." Grissom gave him a perplexed look.

"Sara Sidle."

Grissom's heart nearly went into cardiac arrest at the mention of her name.

Simon reiterated. "You do remember Sara?"

"Yes." Grissom held his breath.

"I was just talking to her the other day after she solved a homicide and credited her for her persistent and she did exactly what you just did. Shook her head and said it was the team. You trained her well Gil…"

The rest of the conversation was lost on Grissom as he tried to register that Sara was actually here in San Francisco all this time and he didn't even know. Grissom quickly glanced at his watch as he tried to come up with an excuse to leave without sounding rude. In the end, he opted for honesty.

"I haven't seen Sara in over a year and now that you mentioned her, do you mind if I go over there and have a little chat before I leave?"

"No, not at all." Dr. McKee walked Grissom out of his office. "Hope you will have more time to catch up the next time you're in town."

"Definitely." Grissom said simply as he hurriedly ran out of the morgue and headed over to the Crime Lab.

* * *

"Sara, you have a visitor." 

Sara looked up from her microscope as Mattie continued, "You better get out there before those big baby blue eyes decided to leave."

Sara thought her heart had stopped. She bolted out of the trace lab before Mattie could say another word. As she approached the reception area of the San Francisco Crime Lab, Sara anxiously scanned the room for the one person she was hoping to see.

"You look disappointed to see me." The voice of Officer Blake Edwards interrupted her.

"Uh… no…" Sara had thought he was someone else. "Were you looking for me?"

Blake nodded and Sara gave him a professional smile, "How can I help you Officer?"

"To start off, I would like to be called Blake. I was in the neighborhood and thought you may want to go grab something to eat."

"Are you asking me out?" Sara sounded surprised.

"Yeah." Blake chuckled, "I guess I am. What say you?"

"I don't think so."

"It's just food and company. I promise to be on my best behavior." Blake raised his fingers in Scout salute.

Sara laughed at the gesture, "I seriously doubt that you were ever in the Boy Scout."

"How can you tell?" His eyes gleamed with mischief.

"You can always tell the bad from the good."

"If you must know, lots of women prefer a bad boy…" Blake flirted with her.

"Um… Officer… I mean Blake…" Sara wasn't ready for the flirting and she definitely wasn't ready for dating either. "Thank you for the offer but I really can't."

"You can't or you won't?" Blake was relentless. This had turned out to be harder than he had imagined. "Are you involved with someone right now?"

"No…"

"On a rebound?"

"No!" Sara replied sharply.

"Well, who ever he is, he is a fool to let you go and a jerk for turning you off from other men who'd come after him."

Sara was getting uneasy with the man she barely knew and yet he was able to see straight through her. "Thanks again for asking me but I really can't, not right now." She retreated back to the trace lab as fast as she could, leaving Blake staring after her.

* * *

"Mattie Bradford for Sara Sidle." Mattie picked up Sara's phone extension. "Hey Beth, what's up?" 

"Someone's here for Sara. Is she there?" The receptionist asked on the other end of the phone line.

"Boy, she's popular today. No, she's not here but I'll be right up." Mattie had volunteered to handle all of Sara's businesses while she was away. As Mattie approached Beth, the receptionist signaled her by darting her eyes toward the middle-aged man standing uncomfortably in the middle of the reception area.

Mattie walked up to him and extended her right hand, "Hello, Mattie Bradford. I hear you are looking for Sara?"

"Yes. Gil Grissom, I am a friend of hers." Grissom returned the greeting by offering his hand. "I am in town for business and hoping to see her before I leave."

"I am sorry Mr. Grissom but she left for the day and won't be back until next week."

"Next week?" Grissom looked puzzled.

"Sara's on vacation." Mattie clarified. "How long will you be in town?"

"Today is my last day." There was a sad regret in his voice and Mattie actually felt sorry for him.

"If you want, you may leave me your number and I'll let her know when she gets back."

"That's ok. She has my number. But thanks for your help though." Grissom cordially nodded at her, turned around and left the San Francisco Crime Lab.

* * *

"Here, have a drink." Jim Brass handed Grissom a glass as he poured liquor from a bottle he had taken from one of the drawers under his desk. "How was the lecture?" 

"Decent." Grissom answered in a monotonal voice.

"How is Jan these days?"

"Don't know." Grissom just stared at the amber liquid in his glass.

"Don't know or don't care?"

Grissom lifted his eyes to meet Brass's. "Is there a difference?"

"Guess not." Brass shrugged as he poured himself a drink.

Grissom sighed as he gazed at the wall behind Brass. "She's in San Francisco."

"Oh? Shrink convention?"

"Sara." Grissom said simply as if that four-letter word held the answer to all of life's questions. He then continued in a hypnotic state, "We're _Ships that pass in the night, and speak each other in passing, only a signal shown, and a distant voice in the darkness; So on the ocean of life, we pass and speak one another, only a look and a voice, then darkness again and a silence." (1)_

"For such a brilliant man, you can be so hopelessly clueless." Brass broke Grissom's trance and received a dry look in return.

"Hey, we all can't be perfect." Brass raised his glass to toast his friend.

* * *

_**TBC**_

**A/N**: Just wanted to say that I intentionally gave Sara a new car in this chapter since she totaled the other one in Vegas after the accident. I personally think Sara would look hot in a Mini Cooper since I saw Charlize Theron drove one in _The Italian Job._ ;)

**A/N2**: (1) Longfellow, Henry Wadsworth. _Tales of a Wayside Inn. Part iii. The Theologian's Tale: Elizabeth. iv._


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: **Again, these CSI characters do not belong to me. I do not own any creative right to any CSI character. They belong to CBS and whomever with the big clams at CSI Production Company so please don't sue me.

**Rating: M** for language.

**A/N:** I would like to thank those of you who reviewed and for your encouragement. Your reviews are my inspirations for continuing this story. If you didn't have time to review, thanks for spending the time to read my story all the same. Again, I would really appreciate any feedback and hope you will enjoy reading my story as much as I enjoy writing it.

* * *

**Chapter 5**

"I see Romeo left you more roses today." Mattie greeted Sara cheerfully.

"_For never was a story of more woe Than this of Juliet and her Romeo_." _(1)_ Sara crooked her brows in reply.

"You know Sara, when life hands you a second chance at happiness, you should really consider it." Sara's eyes narrowed at Mattie's seriousness. "He was here."

"He seems to be here everyday." Sara rolled her eyes.

"No, _him_."

"Grissom." His name automatically rolled off Sara's tongue even before her brain needed time to process. "When?"

"The day you left for vacation." Mattie spoke quietly.

_Four weeks ago. He knew she was here and he hadn't called. Why should he… he was probably just in town on business and stopped by to see an old colleague… nothing more… For God's sake Sidle… the man is likely married…no, definitely married… let it be… _

"He said you had his number so I didn't push the issue." Mattie sounded apologetic. "Should have told you sooner but it slipped my mind. Sorry."

"It's ok Mattie." Sara didn't know how many more times her heart could withstand the resuscitations that it had been subjected to at the thought of Grissom. Like an alcoholic that had never gotten pass Step One of the Twelve-Step program, Sara was in denial concerning her addiction to her former boss and mentor. Loving him had led her down the path of emotional destruction and yet she was helpless in saving herself. After ten years of longing for the unattainable, it was time that she should move on with her life. No, not a should but a must.

Sara grabbed the card from the latest vase of flowers and punched the handwritten number onto her cell phone. "Hey, it's me. How about dinner?"

* * *

"So, how did it go?" Officer Jeff Tailor asked his partner as he pulled their cruiser to a stop. "Did the flowers work?" 

"Yeah." Officer Blake Edwards grinned at his colleague. "Last night went well. She had some reservations but I'll make her forget."

"Sure lover boy. Just like you made the others forget."

Blake grimaced as if slugged in the stomach by Jeff's remark.

"C'mon. He's waiting for us." Jeff ignored the look and stepped out of the squad car.

"Hey Ramon! What do you have for us tonight?" Jeff spoke up as he and Blake approached the scruffy looking man.

"ATF." Ramon was nervous.

"ATF?" Blake started to pace around furiously. "How the fuck did they find out?"

"A mole." Ramon looked scared as his eyes darted back and forth from Officer Tailor to Officer Edwards. "You guys have a mole."

* * *

It had been a month since they started dating. Tonight, like the previous nights, Blake walked Sara to her door after their outing. She had never invited him in and he had never asked. 

As they stood at her doorway, Blake could feel something was different tonight. He detected a gleam in her vibrant brown eyes hinting that she was ready for the next step in their relationship and Blake immediately grabbed onto it before it had the chance to disappear. He slowly bent his head and gleaned a soft kiss from Sara's enticing lips.

"Would you like to come in?" Sara was more surprised at her invitation than Blake.

"I thought you'd never ask." Blake grinned at her as he stepped across the threshold.

"Make yourself at home. I'll be right back." Sara glanced at him as she disappeared into her bedroom.

Blake looked around at her sparsely furnished living room. What she lacked in furnishing, Sara made it up with books. Piles of books lined one wall of the apartment. There were multitudes of books on forensic science and physics, and huge stacks of the classics by well-known dead poets. As he wandered toward the sofa, Blake noticed a lone book on entomology laying by itself on the coffee table. He picked it up out of curiosity and opened the hardcover to find a very short but neat hand written message.

_Sara,_

_For your reading pleasure._

_Yours,_

_Grissom_

Blake stared at the simple note that conveyed profound sentiment from the giver to the receiver of the gift. At that moment, Blake suspected that he was looking straight at the name of his rival. He quickly closed the book, placed it on one of the stacks against the wall and walked toward the kitchen when the phone suddenly rang. 

"Hello?" Blake answered before it reached the second ring.

After a moment of hesitant, the person on the other end spoke, "_Is this the residence of Sara Sidle?_"

"Yes, this is her boyfriend. Who is this?" Blake could guess from the male voice as whom that person might be.

After another silence, the male voice resigned, "_Not important. Wrong number._" And it was followed by the dial tone.

Blake dropped the receiver on its cradle when Sara walked out of her bedroom. "Did someone just call me?"

"Yeah, just some telemarketer trying to sell you a piece of the Everglades." He gave her his most charming smile.

* * *

After two months of torturous indecision, Grissom decided to take the plunge and make contact. The first thing he did after the Berkeley lecture was to look her up. He knew her home phone number by heart but tonight, like all previous nights, he searched _anywho dot com_ just one more time to verify that he had the correct number. His nerves only allowed him one chance to get it right and he prayed that he wouldn't screw it up too badly. 

"_Hello?_"

Grissom was taken aback by the male voice on the phone. He must have dialed the wrong number. "Is this the residence of Sara Sidle?"

"_Yes, this is her boyfriend. Who is this?_"

Grissom's heart sank to the pit of his stomach. For a man who seemed to have a ready answer for every posed question, his brain suddenly refused to provide him with an adequate response. "Not important. Wrong number." And he quickly hung up the phone.

It took every ounce of Grissom's self control to prevent him from grabbing everything off of his desk and throwing them violently across the room. He abruptly stood up and ran blindly out of his office to the men's room as he felt his meager dinner working its way back up his esophagus. Once there was nothing left to retch out of his shaken body, Grissom washed his face and stared into the mirror. He did not recognize the man staring back at him. Gone was the cocky, confident criminalist. What left was a shell of a man who had finally figured out what to do about "this" and realized that he was too late.

* * *

Sara sat on the floor of her bathroom sobbing until there were no more tears left to cry. She cursed _him_ for holding her heart and soul captive and herself for believing that she was strong enough break away from that invisible bondage. If tonight was any indication, it was a testimonial that no other man could replace Grissom in her life no matter how hard she tried to forget him. 

Sara absently ran her fingers across her jaw line where Blake had left his jealous fury earlier. She took in a sharp breath at the throbbing pain. Her pale skin would reflect the physical anguish by morning. She had seen it many times before…long, long ago… It would start out as a swollen red patch, then turn blue-ish purple, then yellow at the end… until the only remnant would be the indiscernible emotional scar. She should know, she had way too many of those to count.

Sara stood up on trembling legs and walked to her tub. She drew a bath and soaked her tired body. Tonight she did the unthinkable out of desperation for human contact. She asked Blake to stay the night thinking that he could help her to forget the only man she had ever loved and in return she repaid him with betrayal. She was as guilty as he was in this tragedy. The only thing worst was she had not only betrayed him, she had also betrayed herself.

* * *

Officer Blake Edwards was not proud of his behavior tonight. 

The night started out perfectly. Sara looked beautiful in her flowery silk dress. They went to dinner and a movie afterward. They enjoyed playful conversations with flirtations insinuated in between. He walked her to her door and for the first time she invited him in. Everything was going great until Sara called out _his_ name in the heat of passion. Blake felt like an unwitting participant in a ménage-a-trois with a passionate lover and an uninvited guest. He felt cheated and hurt and retaliated with the only way he knew how, with violence.

He fell for her the moment she uttered the word "Officer." She was not only beautiful on the outside but something about her presence exulted tenderness whenever she was near. Her glowing smile obliterated every thing dark and filthy around him. His life had consisted of one lie after another. And he had hoped that she could rescue him out of that tragic cycle. What he hadn't counted on was another man had taken Sara's heart before he had a chance to fight for it.

As he buttoned his shirt to cover up the hidden microphone, Blake gazed at his phone and contemplated calling Sara and pleading for her forgiveness. As he stood up from his seating position on the bed, the staccato rings of his doorbell delayed his plan for the time being. Blake heaved a heavy sigh as he grabbed his jacket and went to join his partner in crime for another night of unsavory business.

* * *

"What happened?" Jeff Tailor asked the moment he saw Blake's face. "Didn't like what she saw and kicked you out of her place?" 

Blake grabbed Jeff's shirt and pulled his partner to within inches of his face. "Shut the fuck up or I will do it for you!"

Jeff, being a good six inches shorter than Blake's six-foot-four sturdy frame, knew better than to aggravate him when he was in that dangerous frame of mind. "Ok buddy, we're cool. We _are_ cool…"

Blake let go of his partner and walked silently to his car. Jeff spoke up again as he caught up to Blake, "_They_ wanted to know if we got any lead concerning ATF and the mole."

"Bring Ramon in and beat the crap out of him and they'll get their answers." Blake wasn't in the mood to talk business tonight.

"Uh huh… that's smart. Beat the crap out of our informant and we'll never find out who the fucking mole is." Jeff tried to sound as sarcastic as possible.

"Maybe our informant is the mole." Blake suggested off handedly as they both got in the car.

"Damn it Blake. Think about it. The mole has to be PD." Jeff was very convinced of his own theory. "The last two drops were intercepted by ATF. The location of the last one was changed at the last minute and only the people in PD knew about the change."

"Have you ever thought that we're in too deep?" Blake's voice registered a sad regret.

"What are you talking about?" Jeff stared at his partner suspiciously.

"I don't know… sometimes I just wish I have a normal life."

"This girl really got under your skin, hasn't she." It was more of a statement than question.

Blake's silence confirmed Jeff's suspicion.

"Man, don't do anything stupid." Jeff gave Blake a warning look.

"I want out after the next shipment." Blake said shortly.

"Ok, ok… we'll talk more about this later when you're more rational." Jeff's brain shifted gear to overdrive. "Let's get going, we don't want to keep them waiting."

As Blake pulled his car out of the parking lot, Jeff eyed his partner again as his mind quickly formed a new theory.

* * *

"Sara, get ready to leave in five. They just fished a DB out from under the Golden Gate." Mattie spoke as Sara walked into the locker room. 

When Sara only nodded in acknowledgement, Mattie became concerned. "Hey, are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Sara gave her an assuring smile.

Mattie stared intently at Sara's face for a moment before her investigator's instinct kicked in. "What's wrong with your jaw?"

"Slipped and hit my face on the side of the tub." Sara had mastered this game way before Mattie became a CSI. "Can we not talk about it? I am embarrassed as is."

"Yeah… sure." Mattie let it slide since there were no other reasons for her to think of foul play. "I left my cell on my desk. I'm going to get it and I'll see you out in the car?"

"Yeah. Give me a sec." Sara exhaled a sigh of relief as Mattie left the locker room. The thick liquid foundation did the job but one could always trust Mattie to have the sharp eyes. Sara put on her CSI vest and checked her make-up one more time with the little mirror she kept in her locker. She then went to search for her partner.

* * *

_**TBC **_

**A/N:** (1) Shakespeare, William. _Romeo and Juliet. Act 5. Scene III_

_**EDIT:**_

**A/N2:** Thank you for all your reviews so far for this chapter! Love to hear from you! Just wanted to answer one of the review questions: ATF stands for the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms. After 9/11, they added Explosives to their name but people are still used to calling them ATF. They used to belong to the Treasury Department until 9/11 when they were transfered to the Department of Justice.

As for the other plot questions, I am sorry to not able to answer you since it will take out all the fun that will be instore for you... :) -evil laugh-


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: **Again, these CSI characters do not belong to me. I do not own any creative right to any CSI character. They belong to CBS and whomever with the big clams at CSI Production Company so please don't sue me.

**Rating: M for violence**.

**WARNING**: **There is a scene in this chapter that implies sexual violence.** I did not feel the need to be graphic about it but in doing so, I hope I did not diminish the effect of the situation. However, if you feel uncomfortable reading something like that, please stop now.

**A/N:** I would like to thank those of you who reviewed and for your encouragement. Your reviews are my inspirations for continuing this story. If you didn't have time to review, thanks for spending the time to read my story all the same. Again, I would really appreciate any feedback and hope you will enjoy reading my story as much as I enjoy writing it.

* * *

**Chapter 6**

"So what you got on our merman, Doc?" Mattie asked as she and Sara walked into autopsy.

"Besides the fact that he couldn't swim?" Dr. McKee looked up from the body he was studying. "Latino male, five-foot-four, late twenties. COD is a clean one shot with what looks like a 38 caliber to the forehead."

He handed the metal tray containing the bloody bullet to Mattie as Sara looked on.

"He didn't look like he was in the water for too long." Sara spoke up as she observed the over all condition of the body.

"No. He was in for about a couple of hours at most." Simon McKee continued as he pointed to some skin discoloration. "You can still see pre mortem bruising here around the neck and torso areas."

"He was beaten, strangled and then shot to death?" Mattie asked as she stared intently at the corpse.

"Apparently so." Dr. McKee confirmed Mattie's analysis.

Satisfied with her observations, Sara looked up at the coroner, "You have anything else for us Dr. McKee?"

"I sent tissue samples to toxicology as standard procedure but I doubt it makes a difference. Cause of Death is still gunshot wound to the head."

"Thanks Doc." Mattie nodded in appreciation as she and Sara prepared to leave.

As they walked out of the morgue, Mattie turned to Sara and held up the 38-caliber slug, "I'm going to run this to ballistics, want to come with me?"

"Mattie, stop asking me to come with you every time you want to talk to David. You have a legit reason to see him." Sara sounded exasperated. "Why don't you just ask him out and get it over with."

"No can do. Heard through the grapevines that he's taken." Mattie grinned at Sara as she added, "By another guy."

"I am sure there are plenty of other eligible males in this city."

"Ha… All successful, good-looking males are taken by other successful, good-looking males. What's a gal like me to do but watch late night HBO."

"Try the females." Sara pretended to be helpful.

"Sadly, the females are in the same situation. You're forgetting we're in San Francisco."

"So, what are you going to do?"

"Continue my subscription for late night HBO." Mattie winked at her. "I may even add Spice to my line up next month."

* * *

After a long day at work, all Sara wanted to do was cuddling up with a good book and hopefully win her latest battle with the relentless insomnia. As she scanned around at her isolation, Sara suddenly thought of Mattie. Sara could empathize with her friend and partner, especially when Mattie had used self-deprecating humor to ease her longing for a man she couldn't have. Sara understood all too well the alluring decadence of loving someone, one taste and forever lost. What Sara couldn't say to Mattie was that sometimes it was best not to eat the forbidden fruit. Sometimes it was better to live with a lonely heart than with a broken one. 

Sara picked up the book that _he_ had given her. On nights like these, she would just flip open the cover and trace the beautiful hand written message with her fingers. This Christmas gift of long ago was the only physical evidence that linked _him_ to her. And it had become her most treasured belonging.

She closed the book and placed it on the coffee table. With a sigh, she unfurled herself from the couch and strolled to the kitchen in search of dinner. Sara hadn't had much of an appetite but her body needed sustainment and its demand could be heard through her lower abdominal wall.

Sara popped the leftover vegetarian lo-mein in the microwave and punched on the timer when she heard incessant knocking on her door. She opened it to find Blake standing there with a sheepish grin and a bouquet of flowers in hand.

"May I come in?"

"I don't think it's a good idea." Sara replied without thinking.

"Sara… I just want to apologize about the other night…"

"There is nothing to apologize." She gave him a determined look. "I think it's for the best if we don't see each other anymore."

"Sara, I can understand your anger…" Blake's brain was searching for anything to prevent Sara from closing that door on him. "To be fair, I wasn't the only one at fault here. At least let me explain…"

Against her better judgment, Sara stepped aside to let Blake enter her sanctuary.

She followed him as he approached her sofa. When he realized that she wasn't about to sit, Blake handed her the flowers, "For you."

The words "_Just keep it"_ were on the tip of her tongue but Sara bit them back. Instead she took the colorful blooms and headed for her kitchen sink. When she returned moments later, Sara found Blake held up the book that Grissom had given her many years before.

"You have it bad for him don't you?" His voice came off as more of an accusation than a question. "How does it feel to be rejected?"

Sara tried to grab the book from his clutch. "It's none of your business."

Before Sara could grasp the book from him, he hurled it against the wall with all his might. Sara stared in disbelief as her precious possession bounced off the sheet-rocked surface and landed with a thud on the hardwood floor, the glossy pages torn from the bound cover.

"How could…" was all Sara could utter before Blake shoved her backward onto the sofa as he pinned both of her arms above her head.

Sara fought hard to free herself from his grip but the fail attempts only fed his anger.

"I'll make you forget…" as his mouth came crashing down on hers as she vainly tried to avoid his lips. She attempted to kick him but only found his body pressed tighter against hers.

Before she knew what was happening to her, she sensed her clothes being ripped apart. And then the full horror of the situation hit her.

"Noooooo!" was the last sound Sara mouthed as she felt the searing pain that shredded her soul to pieces.

…_Disassociate yourself if you want to make through this in one piece Sidle…the pain…this pain is no different from any other that you have experienced in your life… God, I need him… leave him out of this…I can't, I need him…if you think of him now…thoughts of him keep me sane… not with the filth surrounding you…I can't get through this without him… you'll never able to look at him and not remember this moment…I will not survive this moment if I don't think of him…_

Blake collapsed beside her when his jealousy and lust were spent.

Sara quickly got up and ran to the bathroom as bile threatened to exit her mouth. She bent down and tightly hugged the toilet bowl while her body heaved yellow nothingness from her stomach. She felt dizzy… and violated… and rising anger…

She carefully stood up, rinsed her mouth and washed her face . She pulled on her bathrobe and threaded to her bedroom to search for what she needed. She found it sitting readily on her dresser. She grabbed it and walked deliberately out to the living room.

"Get out of my place before I do something that both of us will regret."

Blake's eyes looked up in surprise as he stared into the barrel of a Smith & Wesson 9mm semi-automatic. "Sara… take it easy…"

"Take it easy?" Her voice pitched deliriously high. "How can you say that after what you did to me?"

"I love you…"

"Don't you dare!" Sara shook her head as angry tears streaming down her face.

"I am in love with you…" His voice began to crack.

"I said don't you dare!" She cocked her gun and Blake could tell that she wasn't bluffing. "Get out!"

Blake hastily left her apartment as her weapon tracked his every move. Sara quickly locked her door and wedged a chair against the doorknob. She then retreated to her bathroom for a long hot shower to wash away the filthy scent that was covering her body.

The scorching hot water scalded her skin but Sara could still smell the invisible odor even after squeezing two large sized lemons, leftovers from the last decomp case, onto herself. She grabbed another lemon from the net basket, cut it in half and again squeezed from the top of her head. The acidic juice flowed down her hair to her face and stung her eyes but yet she welcomed the tears. She repeated the process until the hot water turned cold and no more lemons were left in the basket. Only when her body threatened to enter hypothermia that Sara finally turned off the water.

She put on fresh pajamas and settled into bed. Sara doubted that she could sleep tonight but she didn't really care. She hugged her gun close to her chest as she prepared for a long sleepless night.

* * *

"Dave, my man, what have you gotten for me?" Mattie greeted the ballistics specialist. 

"Colt 38 Super with a 5 inch barrel." David gave her a charming smile. "You get me the gun and I'll tell you if you have a suspect or not."

"That is a nifty pistol." Mattie was thinking out loud. "High end piece. Our DB must have known people with money."

"And must have seriously pissed them off also." David chimed in.

"Hey, there you are." Sara stuck her head into the ballistics lab. "Got a hit from AFIS on our floater. Ramon Ramirez, 28, last known address was in LA. Rap sheet included burglaries and lately, procession and distribution of illegal substances. One more and he would have qualified for Three Strikes."

"Maybe he did…." Mattie said simply. "He's in the morgue."

Mattie followed Sara out of ballistics as Sara made a quick exit after delivering her information. "Hey Sara, wait up."

Sara slowed her stride as Mattie caught up. "Hey, what's wrong? Are you ok?"

"Yeah, why you ask?" Sara asked absent-mindedly.

"You have been quiet all morning."

"Just have a lot on my mind." Sara tightened her lips into a forced smile. "I am fine. Really."

Sara's expression turned into anger as she saw Officer Blake Edwards sauntered down the lab corridor toward them.

"How dare you show up here?" Sara voiced her fury.

"Sara, we need to talk."

"We have nothing to talk about!" She hissed at him.

He reached for her elbow as he spoke, "Can we go somewhere more private?"

Sara yanked her arm out of Blake's grasp as she whispered fiercely. "You touch me again and I'll kill you!"

"Everything ok Sara?" Mattie stepped in between them and eyed Blake.

"Yeah, he is just leaving." Sara said, her stern gaze never left his face.

"We'll talk later." Blake's eyes turned icy cold as he spun around and left the Crime Lab.

* * *

Maybe she was just paranoid after what had happened to her, but the feeling of premonition had been following her since Blake unceremoniously showed up at her workplace and practically stalked her. Any sudden movement surrounding her would cause Sara's hand to impulsively reach for her weapon. And she did not like what her life had been reduced to. 

When Sara arrived at her apartment complex, she carefully scanned the area before getting out of her Mini Cooper. Once out of her car, she sprinted to her door and entered swiftly. As she closed the metal enforced wooden barrier, she suddenly felt a cold jab against her temple as steel collided with flesh. She instinctively reached for her gun only to have an unseen hand plucked it out of its holster and sent it skidding across the wooden floor.

"You won't need that." Blake voice's rasped ominously against her ear.

Sara swallowed hard as fear overtook her. "How did you get in here?"

Blake chuckled at her naiveté. "You're forgetting I'm a cop. Everyone trusts a cop, especially your landlord."

He turned her body to face him while still holding the gun to her head. Sara did not recognize the empty look in his eyes as he leered at her. "You want to talk with me now?"

Her eyes searched for her weapon as she defiantly replied, "No need to talk, your actions speak volumes."

"Still feisty even with a gun to your head." Blake smirked as he pressed the pistol harder, marring her sensitive skin. "I knew you were the one the first time I laid eyes on you… Look at me…"

Sara caught sight of her own 9mm. She gulped in a lung full of air and shoved one knee upward with all her strength. A loud howl signaled her getaway as she launched herself across the room toward her semi-automatic. Blake recovered quickly and dived after her. Blake's hand grappled at her right ankle causing her body to land sideways on the rug-clad floor as Sara stopped short of her gun by inches. He then pulled himself on top of her.

"Look at me!" The barrel of his gun once again pushed against her temple so hard that her eyes automatically swelled up with tears.

"I said look at me!" Sara's head jerked back and faced Blake's insanity. "I killed someone because of you!"

Sara stared at him in confusion.

"Yeah… he was going to smoke me out… I couldn't let that happen!" His expression changed from delirium to hysteria within a blink of an eye. "You know what that'll do to me? To us?"

Through her fear, Sara could see Blake was spiraling out of control. She must think fast if she was to survive this madness.

"Blake, we can get through this… I can help you… I know people who can help you…please… just give me the gun…"

For a brief moment, Sara could sense a change in him as he slowly loosened his grip on her. The instinct to survive drove her to swiftly stretch her arm and grabbed her waiting weapon. In a flash, Sara heard the sound of the gun going off and saw Blake's body fell backward.

The memory of another long ago tragedy overwhelmingly seized her senses as she numbly stared at the scene before her. Sara did not remember dropping her gun, pulling herself up and escaping her apartment as fast as she could.

* * *

"It's rock, paper, scissor." Nick cocked his head slightly as he spoke adamantly to Warrick. "I ain't walking into the lion's den voluntarily without a good cause." 

"Naw… naw… huh-uh…" Warrick refused to take the bait.

"C'mon Warr, you know how things have been since Sara left." Nick did have a point and Warrick gave in as he raised his right hand to pacify his buddy.

"Aww man… not a good day… not at all…" Warrick actually felt sorry for Nick as he sashayed away to Grissom's office after his finger scissor lost to Warrick's fist rock.

* * *

"What the hell is going on Conrad?" Grissom stormed into Ecklie's office without bothering to knock. 

"And a good morning to you too Gil." Ecklie seemed unfazed by Grissom's anger.

"Don't play games with me." Grissom eyed him dangerously.

"If this is about Sidle…"

"I let you moved her slot to day so you could fill it with one of your goonies but you are not taking one of my CSIs away from graveyard to satisfy some sadistic game that you seem to enjoy at everyone else's expense!"

"We are short staffed during the day…"

"Screw it Ecklie! Do it and you'll hear from the Sheriff himself!" Like a CAT-5 hurricane, Grissom left a wide path of destruction as he raged his way back to his office and refuge.

* * *

"Gil, I think you should see this." 

"Not now Catherine. I am busy…" Grissom scowled over his reading glasses to find Catherine looking rather dead serious.

"No Gil! The break room. Now!" This had better be important or she would be catching hell from him later.

Grissom followed Catherine down the hallway to find his team already gravitated toward the live national TV broadcast.

"…_This is Susanne Ortiz reporting live from the San Francisco County courthouse where Sara Sidle, a Crime Scene Investigator for the San Francisco Crime Lab, is being formally indicted for the shooting death of her boyfriend, SFPD Officer Blake Edwards…bail and arraignment hearings are scheduled for later this week…"_

Before the reporter could finish her story, Grissom had already disappeared back in his office. He frantically flipped his Rolodex and quickly dialed the numbers that he needed. Once done, he gathered his personal belongings and considered searching for Catherine. He found her leaning against his doorframe before he had the chance to step out of his office.

"Catherine, you're in charge." Grissom said without explanation.

"What do you mean I am in charge? Where are you going?" Catherine knew exactly where he was heading but asked anyway.

"I am taking some personal time off. You will find everything you need on my desk."

"You just can't pick up and leave like that. You have responsibilities here."

"I have responsibilities to myself Catherine and I must say that I have been lacking for the past several years. It's a situation that I am going to rectify as of now."

Grissom turned around and was about to walk away when Catherine momentarily stopped him. "That's it? That's all you're going to tell me?"

"Um… and don't forget to feed my pet tarantula… her food… well, you know where I keep everything in that office…" His voice trailed off as he dashed out of the lab.

_**

* * *

**_

**_TBC_**

**A/N:** Just wanted to say that this is as dark as it gets. Since this chapter is the pivotal point of the story, it is a bit longer than the others but I hope it was worth your time. Drop me a note and tell me what you think. Peace. :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: **Again, these CSI characters do not belong to me. I do not own any creative right to any CSI character. They belong to CBS and whomever with the big clams at CSI Production Company so please don't sue me.

**Rating: M **just in case.

**A/N:** I would like to thank those of you who reviewed and for your encouragement. Your reviews are my inspirations for continuing this story. If you didn't have time to review, thanks for spending the time to read my story all the same. Again, I would really appreciate any feedback and hope you will enjoy reading my story as much as I enjoy writing it.

* * *

**Chapter 7**

Sara looked as if she had fought her way through hell and back.

The last time he saw her, she was awkwardly retreating from his hospital room with a lame excuse to get coffee, then silently proceeded to walk out of his life without a single goodbye. The roughly one year, four months, sixteen days, two hours and thirty five seconds… going on thirty six… that they had been apart, Grissom had never given up hope that one day they would meet again. Intrinsically, the thought had never occurred to him that they would see each other again under these circumstances. Looking at her now, Grissom could hardly recognize the vibrant woman that had captured his heart so long ago.

He stood waiting in the corner, out of sight, for them to uncuff and release her into the custody of her public defender. He held his breath as he stared at her profile. She looked harrowing, yet beautiful at the same time. She was his "Sidle Paradox", devastatingly exquisite, strong-willed yet vulnerable, crusaded for the victims yet fell victim herself. She was a fascinating riddle that had occupied his mind and soul since the moment she entered his life holding a Starbucks latte in one hand while balancing her books on the other. And she would be for the rest of his life.

When her lawyer guided her toward the exit of the court building, Sara caught sight of Grissom and stopped dead in her track. Grissom strolled up to join them as he intently gazed at her while she stared back at him, dumbfounded. Sara opened her mouth to speak only to close it quickly, words left unspoken.

"Sara."

"Hello Grissom." She returned the greeting without her signature smile, the one that could light up a room and brighten his world.

"Dr. Grissom." Jason Bennett, the gangly tall attorney in his late-twenties with an early receding hairline, broke the trance that seemed to engulf his defendant and the middle-aged scientist that had just posted her bail.

"Mr. Bennett, thank you for everything." Grissom gave Sara's public defender a half smile in gratitude as Sara regarded both men with perplexed crunched brows.

"Just call me Jason and no problem. Just doing my job." Jason Bennett nodded his head in acknowledgement, then turning his attention to Sara, "Go home and get some rest Sara. We are in for a long haul so try to be prepared physically and mentally. I promise to do my best but I need you to do your part too."

The corners of Sara's mouth momentarily curved up to express her gratefulness. "Thanks Jason. I'll try not to skip town on you."

Jason grinned as he gestured with a tilt of his head toward Grissom. "Don't tell me, tell _him_. He's the one with the financial investment in your freedom."

"Sara, I think we should get going." Grissom was anxious to get away. "Jason, thank you again. You know where to contact us?"

"Yes. Definitely should leave your cell phone on." Jason replied as he turned and walked down the hallway toward his next case.

* * *

"You know Jason, now is a good time to plea bargain." The District Attorney, Michael Alexander, approached the young lawyer as he was about to leave the court building. 

"We will not settle for anything except a not guilty verdict." Sara's public defender shot down the offer.

"Look, she murdered a cop in cold blood and I have witnesses that can testify that she threatened him that morning. The People will consider Murder Two if she pleads guilty and saves everyone time and money."

"You have gotten to be kidding me." Jason Bennett chuckled. "It was in self defense and you know it. I think this case is more politically motivated than anything else. The Mayor's office doesn't want to piss off its foot soldiers by looking the other way when one of its finest was shot. They all would like to forget that this cop was causing bodily harm to a female member of law enforcement."

"You have no probable cause of bodily harm and you can't prove something you don't have." The DA said pointedly and added, "Besides, the victim is not on trial here."

"She was physically abused." Jason stated shortly.

"The are no hospital records and no witnesses." Mike shot back impatiently. "Have you even looked into her background Jason?"

The DA continued as he misread Jason's silence as a no. "I have and let me tell you it's not pretty. Her mother was incarcerated for the stabbing death of her father. She was obsessed with her boss in Las Vegas and the night before his wedding to another woman, he was ran over by a car in her presence."

"That was an accident and she was not charged with a crime."

"Accident or not, we have a woman with a life history full of violence and who has a track record of causing bodily harm to the men in her life. What do you think the jury will say when these information are disclosed and trust me, if and when this case does go to trial, every single skeleton in Ms. Sidle's closet will be examined and scrutinized under the judicial microscope." Mike stretched for the proverbial home base when he again mistook Jason's silence as a defeat. "Look Jason, I know this is the first high profile case that you have as a public defender and it can make or break your career…"

"You think this is about _my_ career?" The young lawyer looked incredulously at the older man.

"Isn't it what this is all about?" The DA's right arm made a grand gesture of the court building.

"No." Jason simply replied. "It's about justice."

"Well then, I'll see you in court Counselor and Murder One still stands. I hope Ms. Sidle will understand the implication of the charge. I do not need to remind you that the State of California does have the death penalty in its penal code." The DA spun around and left Jason standing there alone with his thoughts.

* * *

They drove to her apartment in total silence with the exception of verbal directions required by Grissom in order to get there. Sara wasn't ready to talk and he wasn't about to rush her. 

Her former sanctuary was a total disaster. It was after all a former crime scene and as CSIs, they both understood too well what happened in the aftermath of an investigation.

One look and Grissom's protectiveness left Sara with no room for negotiations, "Sara, go pack the essentials. You are not spending another day in this place."

"Where are you taking me?" Sara sounded surprised.

"You're coming with me." He solemnly eyed her to not argue with him.

Sara disappeared into her bedroom to gather her belongings while Grissom milled around her living room, mentally recording the scene for later use. A blood spattered rug laid crunched up against the faux leather sofa. More blood scattered in arced trails along the front of the couch indicating the victim… _that son-of-a-bitch was not the victim…_indicating the perpetrator sat up after being shot. As the perp leaned back against the sofa, a larger blood pool stained the hardwood floor indicative of a second wound.

Grissom understood the scene had been contaminated by PDs, EMTs, and forensic personnel. But as an experienced CSI, he could picture what had happened in this room and he cursed to himself for not being here to protect Sara when she needed him the most.

"I am ready." Sara reappeared with a large suitcase and a small duffle bag.

Grissom stepped toward her to help carry the suitcase. "Let's go."

"Where to?"

"I am leasing a furnished apartment here in town and you are welcome to stay for as long as you like."

"You think that's a good idea?" Sara questioned his judgment with a raised eyebrow.

Grissom replied with a mirrored quirk brow. "You have a better idea?"

"No… actually…" She admitted hesitantly as Grissom ushered her out the door.

* * *

"Were you expecting me to stay with you when you rented this place?" Sara asked as she surveyed the comfortably furnished two-bedroom apartment. 

"Yes… no…" His lower lip pursed in concentration as he replied, "maybe… I don't know."

"You seemed to be so sure of everything until now." Sara felt her frustration bubbling up as she turned to face him. "Having second thoughts now that you're faced with the reality of it all?"

His eyes narrowed, unsure of what to say.

"Go head, say it." Sara was waiting for the barrage of questions that she knew Grissom wanted to ask but was afraid to ask them. "I can see it in your eyes. You wanted to know why and what made Sara Sidle snapped."

Her anger deflated as she realized that Grissom wasn't taking the bait. "Just so you'd know, the first time it was consensual, the second time it was rape and the third time…well, he never got to the third time because… I prevented him…"

She searched his face for any reaction but only detected a hint of something momentarily in his eyes and then it was gone.

"You're probably thinking that you are lucky for not getting involved with a woman like me…" She smirked sarcastically at him.

"Since when are you such a psychoanalyst?" He finally spoke up, then quickly clamped tight his jaw, realizing his faux pas.

"Since you decided you want to marry one." Her words slipped out before she had the chance to put a rein on them. "God Griss, I spent ten years of my life trying to be the woman that I thought you would find to be good enough for you. I even took up forensic anthropology after I found out you dated Terri Miller. I am just sorry to disappoint you when I say that I can't whip men to death like Lady Heather… just not in my MO…"

"I didn't marry Jan." Grissom stated simply as his hand came up to massage his tensed forehead. "How can I marry someone when I am in love with someone else?"

Sara just stared at him in stunned silence.

Before Sara had the chance to ask questions, Grissom continued, "I spoke with Jason Bennett and he is working on a game plan and would like to discuss it with us tomorrow morning."

"Us?" asked Sara, still reeling from his previous confession.

"I can stay out of it if you are not comfortable with me being there."

"No, no… I am sorry… I do want you to come with me…" Now was not the time to be too proud to ask for a little support. "I need you to be with me…"

"Sara, you know I'd never abandon you when you need help."

_…When I need help…yeah… only when I need help… my knight in shining armor…but you will leave me when all of this is over… I am not worth it, remember? …_

"Thanks for everything Grissom. You don't know how much I appreciate you being here…" Sara suddenly grew so very tired. "I think I will go take a shower and try to catch some Zs."

"Do you want any dinner?" Grissom asked her tenderly.

"You mind eating alone?" She really wanted to join him but every fiber of her being was screaming shutdown. "I am really pooped."

"I'll leave something in the kitchen for you if you want it later." He sounded disappointed.

Sara nodded in appreciation as she smiled at him, "Good night Griss." _I love you…more than you know…_

He stared at her silhouette as she drifted quietly into her bedroom. "Good night Sara."

* * *

"I don't usually recommend it but I think this is one of the rare cases in which the defendant should testify." Jason Bennett looked from Sara to Grissom across the cluttered government standard metal desk. 

Grissom turned his head to find Sara's face was drained of blood. He instinctively reached out to hold her icy cold hand.

Jason continued as his idea was met with silence. "Sara, you must understand the gravity of the situation. You shot a cop to death. I can tell the jury that this creep physically abused you until I'm blue in the face but without any physical evidence, those twelve men and women will not believe a single word I say."

Sara stood up abruptly and left the room. Grissom got up to follow her. "Please give us a minute."

Jason nodded as Grissom walked out the door.

He found her leaning back against the wall with her eyes closed.

"Hey."

Her eyelids flipped open, despaired brown orbs gazing into his concerned blue ones. "You know what they'll do to me if he put me on that stand, don't you?"

He nodded, understanding fully well what lawyers could do to unprepared witnesses. Even the prepared ones could still fall trap to twisted line of questioning. For Sara, he could understand her fears. She never voiced it, but Grissom could see it on her troubled face what her past had done to her. It had shaped her into a strong individual but with an underlining dread that those buried demons would surface when she was at her weakest.

"I shot him… in self defense…" Her watery eyes, threatened to overflow, implored his… "He was going to…he had the gun against my temple…I wanted… I didn't want to die Griss…"

His arms immediately came up and embraced her tightly against his chest as he felt waves of sob racking her entire body. He wanted to tell her that everything would be all right but couldn't seem to find the right words to soothe her pain. And so he let her cry out her pent up anguish as his heart cried along with her.

As her tears subsided, she pulled away from him and sniffed in embarrassment. His hand reached out to palm away the runaway droplets. Sara quickly dipped her head, afraid that he would see the vulnerability deep in her soul.

"Sara…" Sometimes other people's words seemed to express his thoughts better than his own, "_Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well._"

"Josh Billings." Sara gave him a resigning nod of understanding. Grissom held out his hand for Sara to hold as he led her back into her lawyer's office.

* * *

"…I shot him in the lower backside while we were struggling… then I panicked and ran out of the apartment…" 

Grissom and Jason immediately eyed each other as both realized what the other was thinking.

Jason was the first to speak up. "Sara, I want you to think hard for me. Did you shoot him once or twice?"

Sara stared at him in surprise. "Once… that was enough, wasn't it? I just wanted to incapacitate him… not kill him."

Grissom took off his reading glasses and turned his head toward Sara. "According to the coroner's preliminary report, COD is gunshot wound to the right ventricle at point blank. Initial wound was in the lower back through the abdominal area, internal bleeding but no major organs were damaged. He could have survived that shot."

"Griss… I swear… I only shot him once…no where near the heart…"

Jason cast his eyes from Sara to Grissom. "Then who killed Blake Edwards?"

* * *

_**TBC **_

**A/N**: Ok, didn't I promise you that it would get better now that Grissom is back? Please drop a comment to feed my muse. Thanks to you wonderful reviewers out there, she is now fanatically spoilt. Thanks!


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: **Again, these CSI characters do not belong to me. I do not own any creative right to any CSI character. They belong to CBS and whomever with the big clams at CSI Production Company so please don't sue me.

**Rating: **When I say** M**, I really mean it.

**A/N:** Sorry for the late posting of this chapter. I have been sick. Trying to write while every cell in your body is saturated with NyQuil is not fun. LOL. Hope this chapter will tide you over the July 4th holiday. Anyway, have a safe and fun Independence Day and I'll see you after the holiday! Enjoy and don't forget to comment! Thanks for reading! Peace… :)

* * *

**Chapter 8**

_Sara ran blindly down the darkened hallway… she was trying to escape while pulling a small child with her. The little girl looked up at Sara, confused and resisted the yanking of her frail arm. Sara eyed the child to calm her down while constantly turning her head to gauge the progress of her attacker._

_The little girl started to cry…Sara pulled the child harder as they both headed toward the kitchen. She frantically searched for something to defend themselves. Her eyes landed on a carving knife lying aimlessly on the kitchen island. She grabbed it without thinking and shoved the little girl under the breakfast table as their attacker came into view._

_His blurred facial features stood in contrast with his distinctive body structure, tall, broad shouldered, and agile… He yelled something at her but she could only decipher "Whore!", "Slut!" and "Betrayal!" _

_He taunted her with his crude words over and over as he approached her. In her desperation, Sara wielded the knife in fluid arcs to ward off his advancement but he kept moving forward. She could feel the air vibrated with his hysterical laughter as he lunged at her…in a daze, Sara watched her knife impaled him… his laughter died as he fell backward…_

_The room suddenly covered in a hazy mist of crimson and flashing lights…_

_Someone took the little girl's hand and led her out of the house as she screamed "Mommy!" at a startled Sara…_

"Shssshh…Sara…" Grissom held Sara close to him as he tried to ease her out of the nightmarish lethargy. "It's ok sweetheart…shssshh…" 

Sara momentarily opened her glazed eyes and then once again drifted back to her restless slumber.

* * *

Sara startled awake to the sound of a peacefully snoring Grissom. He was spooning her body with warmth and she relished the human contact that she ravenously craved, especially when that contact came in the form of a man she had desired for as long as she could remember. 

Sara wanted to lay there infinitely, afraid to wake up from a blessed dream. But like all dreams, the end was always inevitable. Silently, she extricated herself from his embrace and turned to face him on the bed. She had never been this close to him before, except for that disastrous first kiss which did not count. The urge to reach out and run her fingers along his stubbled jawline was so overpowering that she had to momentarily look away. She scanned the rest of his body instead and noticed he was wearing a pair of grey sweat pants and navy LVPD t-shirt.

"Nothing happened last night if that's what worrying you." Grissom spoke quietly with his eyes still closed.

"I am not worried." Sara answered indignantly and hurriedly got out of bed when an arm came up and pulled her back down.

"Hey." Grissom looked at her with lazy morning eyes, hypnotized her back to bed. "Sorry… Didn't mean to offend you…"

"You didn't. Just startled me." She resumed her previous position, facing him.

"You had another bad dream."

"I figured that much."

The room turned silent as they both suddenly were at a lost for words. Grissom was still drinking in her face when Sara spoke up.

"I'll pay you back."

His brows crunched in confusion as he broke out of his trance.

"The bail money." Sara clarified. "I'll pay you what I have and the rest later…"

"Don't worry about it." His hand reached out to tuck several runaway strands of brown lock back behind her ear. "I'll get it all back…when the trial is over."

"That's a lot of money. You'll need something to live on while your money is all tied up with my mess." She felt guilty for involving him with her problems. He didn't really have to do this and yet, here he was, helping her out.

"Sara, rollercoaster and roach racing are not expensive hobbies. I would like to think that I am financially secured." Grissom gazed tenderly at her then inhaled deeply, "Besides, you're worth every penny… and more…"

He never ceased to surprise her. She could tell that he wanted to say more but was debating on the right words to express his thoughts. His eyes told her what she needed to know. "Why now?"

"Why not?"

"Because… your timing sucks and…" Pools of tear swelled up as she turned away from him.

He palmed her face back to him as his baby blues looked intently into her dark vulnerable ones. "Honey, I believe you. The important question is… do you believe you?"

"What will happen if they find me guilty Griss?"

"Sara… I don't want you to think like that." His bent index finger gently wiped away the trickles that were smearing her cheeks. "I haven't given up on you so you shouldn't neither."

She leaned into his palm for comfort as she closed her eyes. When she opened them again, she found herself staring into deep blue seas of turmoil. Without thinking, her hand came up to slowly stroke his jawline. The feel of his skin brought back fond memory of the first time she dared to touch him with her chalk wiping excuse.

"Why did you shave your beard?" She loved the coarseness of the stubbles against his tan skin.

"I wanted to have a new start…" The words were barely audible as he held his breath.

As her thumb momentarily poised on his lower lip, his hand came up to stop her.

"Sara…" His voice betrayed his primal needs.

"What are you afraid of?" Sara asked, sounding hurt.

"I won't be able to stop myself after just one kiss…"

"Who say you need to stop?"

He composed himself long enough to give her an explanation. "This is not how I envisioned when we finally get together."

He could be so adorable that Sara had to grin. "How did you envision us getting together?"

Grissom brought her captured hand to his lips and replied, "I would like to court you properly."

"_Court_ me?" Her grin turned into a full-blown smile. "Do people still _court_ each other nowadays?"

"No my dear." Grissom once again found his comfort zone. "_I_ court you, not the other way around."

"And what does this _courting_ entail?" Sara was intrigued now.

"I would call on you…"

"Way past that stage…we're in bed together…"

"I would ask you out to dinner…"

"You cooked and fed me for the last two weeks…"

"I would ask your permission to kiss you…"

"You don't need my permission…"

His kiss came without warning and caught them both by surprise at the fierceness of years of suppressed desires. When they surfaced for air, his eyes searched hers for signs of regrets and found none. His mouth came down to graze hers once again as her head tilted sideway, beckoning him to deepen the kiss. His tongue elicited a soft moan from her as it roamed freely against her lips and beyond.

Propping himself up on one elbow, he used the other hand to lift her arms upward as he tried to remove her tank top and she gladly obliged. As he slowly crunched up the flimsy top, he pressed fluttering kisses beginning from her navel upward toward her breasts. Her back instinctively arched upward as he took a nipple in his mouth and sucked hard. Once done, his lips made a beeline toward its delectable twin. His relentlessly darting tongue drove her mad with needs, making her finish yanking the top off herself. Her fingers then intertwined with his curly locks, holding on to him tightly and begging him not to stop.

Satisfied with his accomplished upper sub-tasks, he retraced his path down her body, this time with his hand preceding his apt lips. His hand wandered toward her boxer shorts and with one swift movement, slid it down her slender legs and sent it landing on the floor nearby. He kissed her lower mound before parting her folds with his fingers while his tongue dipped in to taste the ambrosial nectar of her feminine essence. Sara bit her lower lip and closed her eyes shut as her body engulfed in complete ecstasy. While his tongue moved to deliver quick strokes against her harden snub, his index and middle fingers entered her with slow rhythmic resolve, sending shivers up her spine as her hip's gyration joined in tempo with measured pulsation of involuntary muscles within her core.

As she arched her back in pure pleasure, Grissom could feel something was holding her back. His thumb replaced the tongue as pleasure giver as he moved up her body once again while still keeping a steady rhythm with his busy fingers. He planted kisses along her slim neck before moving to her slightly opened mouth and whispered, "Sara… come for me, my love…"

His words pushed her over the edge. He felt her hip grinding down on his hand as her internal muscles clamped at his fingers. Grissom heard his name called out in such passion as if coming from the lips of Aphrodite herself. He wanted desperately to join her in her bliss but whatever little constraint he had left reminded him that this moment was for her, and her only. She had been through so much and he did not want to scare her. Her pleasure was enough for him and he could wait. He would wait until she was ready and no sooner. Beads of sweat began to form on her forehead as he scanned her beautiful face. He bent down to kiss each one away before they had the chance to pool. As the spasms subsided, Sara slowly opened her eyes to see the contained agony reflected in his stormy blue gaze.

To answer her questioning look, he shook his head and smiled at her as his fingers came up to tenderly trace her cheekbone to her jawline. "Just for you."

Hearing his words, her dark sultry eyes resonated such profound love that he had to wonder how he could have lived without her for so long.

Sara's hand came up to capture his wandering one and brought it to her lips for a lingering kiss. His breathing turned sporadic as her tongue began a sensual dance with his thumb. His grin slowly disappeared only to be replaced by furrowed brows as he intently stared at Sara licking the hand that had given her so much pleasure just moments before. His eyes glanced up at hers and what he saw startled him. Two dark whirlpools echoed his intense physical needs that left no doubts as to what her feelings were. His squint searched for reassurance and with two simple words "For me…" coming from her slightly chapped lips, Sara sent him to the point of no return.

He quickly got up and sent every article of clothing flying off of his body as Sara visually explored his physical attributes. She instinctively wetted her lips as she eyed his arousal. Grissom tensed as he came down on top of her and as his face briefly hovered above hers, Sara's mouth came up to capture his and he knew he was forever lost. His tongue invaded her mouth without resistance as the length of him slowly entered her wetness from below. Her tongue dueled with his while her fingers entwined his curls to intensify the kiss. Her long legs wrapped around his hips as her heels dug into his hind cheeks to force him in deeper. With each prolonged thrust, he brought them closer to home. As Sara near to climax for the second time, she looked at him through glazed eyes and pleaded hoarsely, "Come with me Griss… please come with me…"

With one final thrust, Grissom sent them into uncharted oblivion. The name _Sara_ reverberated through out the four walls of their cozy bedroom as his body collapsed on top of hers. She held on to him until their pulses came back to normal. As he lifted himself off of Sara onto his back, Grissom pulled her into his embrace and kissed her forehead. Together they drifted into quiet slumber with the knowledge that they had finally found peace within the chaotic realm of reality.

* * *

_**TBC**_


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: **Again, these CSI characters do not belong to me. I do not own any creative right to any CSI character. They belong to CBS and whomever with the big clams at CSI Production Company so please don't sue me.

**Rating: M **just to be sure.

**A/N:** I would like to thank those of you who reviewed and for your encouragement. If you didn't have time to review, thanks for spending the time to read my story all the same. Again, I would really appreciate any feedback and hope you will enjoy reading my story as much as I enjoy writing it.

* * *

**Chapter 9**

"Your Honor, the People motion to have the victim's former girlfriends removed from the witness list." The middle-aged DA adamantly followed Judge Carl McKenzie down the hallway of the courthouse as Jason Bennett trailed behind.

"Your Honor, the testimonies of these women are essential in establishing the abusive pattern that my client suffered at the hand of Blake Edwards." Jason spoke up from behind the other two men.

"There is no concrete evidence that the abuse ever took place while Officer Edwards was dating the defendant." Michael Alexander shot back. "To admit the testimonies of these women equals to character assassination of the victim when he is not even on trial here."

"You are really stretching it Counselor but I will side with you on this one." Judge McKenzie looked at the DA, then turned his head toward Jason, "The former girlfriends are off the list."

"If that is the case, I motion to have the DA's subpoenas of Dr. Gil Grissom and Dr. Jan Baker be removed also."

"On the contrary, the testimonies of these witnesses are required to prove the obsessive and violent history of the defendant." Michael fought to keep his witnesses.

Judge McKenzie stopped in front of his chamber as the other two men also halted abruptly. "DA's witnesses stay on and I'll see you both in court gentlemen."

Without another word, Judge McKenzie entered his chamber, leaving the lawyers to quickly process the judge's newest decisions.

* * *

Sara could sense his presence in the bedroom even before he came up to her from behind and embraced her middle with his arms. 

Grissom nibbled her earlobe as he asked softly, "Did you miss me while I was away?"

She twisted around to face him and whispered, "I miss you whenever you're not with me."

He smirked at her but his eyes told another story, "Talks like that can get you into plenty of trouble Ms. Sidle… especially with me…"

"Don't worry Dr. Grissom, I am in plenty of trouble already… what's one more…" She really missed him when he returned to Vegas this past week to wrap up some cases that needed his attention. They talked everyday on the phone but it was not the same. His physical presence soothed her insecurity and made her feel unconditionally… what?… loved?… an emotion so alien to her that it brought on an unpleasant side effect of self-doubt.

As his lips pressed exquisitely against hers, a lingering thought that somehow this was a dream and she would soon wake up, hovered stubbornly on the fine demarcation line between wholeheartedly embracing whatever he was offering and holding herself back in self-preservation.

He looked up from their kiss and with a quirked brow, smiled tenderly at her, "Apparently you didn't miss me as much as I missed you."

Sara grinned back at him, her apprehension quickly dissipated when he gave her _that_ look, the look that held promises of eternal devotion with hints of lustful madness all interwoven into one simmering infernal waiting to explode. "Let me prove to you how wrong your theory is Dr. Grissom."

Grissom and Sara were soon temporary lost to the world in a haze of rapture as they cocooned themselves within their newfound temptations and a week's worth of pent-up desires. Once the mist of ecstasy evaporated, they found themselves contented with the simple act of just silently keeping each other company. As Sara rested her head on Grissom's chest, satiated, his hand came up to caress her arm in peaceful lenity of up and down movement that slowly lured her into a much needed sleep.

When she opened her eyes again to what seemed only moments later, she found him staring at her face. "How long did I nap?"

"Just over an hour." He kissed the top of her head and continued, "Sleep some more. You look like you haven't slept in awhile."

Sara ran her fingers across his smooth chest as she listened to the rhythm of his heart. "One hour of sleep in your arms replenished six days of sleeplessness. I am fine now."

At her words, Grissom instinctively pulled her tighter to him while the pulse of his heart beat faster against her ear.

"How is everyone in Vegas?" Sara finally spoke up as she enjoyed the secured feeling of being wrapped up in Grissom's arms.

"Everyone said 'hi' and they all missed you."

Sara remained quiet at the thoughts of her former colleagues and friends. She had tried so hard to forget her years in Vegas but somehow destiny still managed to steer her back to full circle.

"You're ok?" His voice registered concern.

"I'm ok. I really miss them too. Somehow…" She hesitated from finishing her thought, afraid it might somehow jinx the new relationship between her and Grissom.

As if reading her mind, he vocalized her unspoken words while capturing her wandering hand and palmed it flat on his chest, "…you wish you never left Vegas."

Sara silently nodded her head while Grissom continued, "No regrets Sara. We may not make the wisest decisions but I am glad things are the way they are. Not the best circumstances but we'll find a way to make it through. Think of it as a test of our endurance."

"How do you manage to stay so positive about everything?" Sara glanced up at him, love reflecting from her vibrant brown eyes for the man who was her emotional cornerstone.

"I stay positive because you give me strength…" His deep ocean blues mirrored her inner feelings, "and the will to fight… for us…"

Sara found herself at a lost for words. She had never known the depth of his sentiment until this moment and the knowledge assaulted her with a torrent of new emotions that were totally unfamiliar to her. She always knew she loved him but now, she finally knew _why_ she loved him.

"On a positive note, I spoke with Brass and had him pulled in a few favors while I was in Vegas."

"You actually mixed personal business with work?" Sara smiled teasingly at him, glad he changed the subject.

"I had plenty of free time when you weren't around." Grissom was clearly not immune to her smile. "You want to hear the information or not?"

"Ok, tell me." She hugged him tighter, if that was even possible.

"I didn't mean to pry into _his_ background but I thought it might help with your case." He eyed her apologetically as she tensed briefly in his arm.

"You mean Blake?"

"Yeah." Grissom stopped momentarily, debating on whether to tell her what he knew or not.

"I want to know Griss." She told him in a determined voice. "Everything."

"Apparently Blake Edwards was involved in an arm smuggling ring that ATF was investigating. ATF found out about him and he turned informant. They were about to wrap up the case and hand it over to the FBI when he was found dead in your apartment."

"You think someone could have come in after I left, shot him to death and framed me for his murder?"

"It is a very plausible theory." Grissom stared unblinkingly at the bedroom's ceiling, deep in thought. "Someone with a motive and access to the crime scene."

* * *

"Your Honor, the People are ready to call the first witness." The DA, Michael Alexander, stood erect and addressed the court in a confident voice. "The People would like to call Ms. Mattie Bradford to the stand." 

Mattie got up from the gallery and walked toward the witness box to be sworn in. Once done, the DA approached her and began his questioning. "Ms. Bradford, how long have you worked with the defendant?"

"Over a year."

"During that time, are you two good friends?"

"Yes."

"Do you have any knowledge concerning Ms. Sidle's personal relationships?"

"I don't understand your question." Mattie gave him a confused look.

"Does she confide in you about her love life?"

"No. She is a very private person."

"But you do know about her relationship with Officer Blake Edwards?"

"Yes."

"How so?"

"He pursued her by sending her flowers at the lab and came by often to see her."

"Did she reciprocate the affection?"

"Not at first, but did eventually."

"Why did she change her mind?"

Mattie sighed as she revealed her friend's deep secret, "Because she was in love with someone else and that person did not return her love."

"Who was this other person?"

"Gil Grissom." Mattie could see all eyes in the courtroom focused on Sara, each pair of eyes with its own verdict of the defendant.

"So the defendant was on a rebound with Officer Edwards?"

"Yes." Mattie looked at Sara and mouthed silently the words _"I'm sorry…"_ Sara just gazed back at her and her lips formed the words _"It's ok."_

"Ms. Bradford, during their dating period, did you see any evidence that Ms. Sidle was abused by Officer Edwards?"

"No… but there…"

"A yes or no is sufficed."

"No." Mattie gave the DA an annoyed look.

"On the day Officer Edwards was murdered, did you witness the defendant threatened to kill the him?" Michael Alexander pounced on Mattie as he felt her hesitation. "I will have to remind you that you are under oath Ms. Bradford."

"Yes but it was…"

"Again, only a yes or no is required." The relentless DA once again interrupted his unwilling witness.

"Yes!" Mattie was clearly pissed with the DA by now.

"Ms. Bradford, please state for the court the exact words that the defendant used to threaten Officer Edwards."

Mattie heaved a heavier, longer sigh as she recited the words she accidentally heard that fateful morning. "She said and I quote 'You touch me again and I'll kill you.'"

"Thank you Ms. Bradford." Michael turned toward his nemesis and smirked, "Your witness Counselor."

Jason stood up and approached the witness box. "Ms. Bradford, during the time that Ms. Sidle and Officer Edwards was dating, were you aware that he was physically abusive to her?"

"Objection Your Honor! Pure speculation. The witness already testified that she did not see any abusive evidence."

"Sustained." Judge McKenzie gazed sternly at Jason, "You went to law school, Counselor. Prove it."

"Ms. Bradford, will you tell the jury what instigated the so-called threat that you overheard Ms. Sidle said to Officer Edwards?"

"Officer Edwards came to the Crime Lab that morning asking to talk to Sara but she did not want to have a conversation with him since she was visibly upset when she saw him. I don't know what transpired between them before that day but she clearly did not want to be near him. He then grabbed her elbow and she instinctively pulled back. That was when she spoke those words. I had to step in between them before Officer Edwards backed off but promised that she would hear from him later."

"Thank you Ms. Bradford." Jason nod his head in gratitude and walked back to his seat.

Michael quickly strode toward Mattie for a rebuttal. "Ms. Bradford, before that day, had you ever witnessed Officer Edwards acted violently in any way toward Ms. Sidle?"

"No…"

"Thank you. No further questions for this witness."

Mattie was beyond pissed, she wanted to strangle the DA at that moment.

* * *

"Officer Tailor, please tell the jury what happened the night Officer Edwards was shot to death." The DA walked slowly in front of the jurors and eyed them individually. 

"We were on break and Officer Edwards decided to drop by Ms. Sidle's apartment…"

"The defendant's?" Michael interrupted his witness for an added flair of drama.

"Correct. The defendant's apartment to tell her that he wanted out of their relationship."

"Objection! Contents of Officer Edwards' conversation are hearsay." Jason voiced up his disagreement over Officer Tailor's testimony.

"You honor, Officer Tailor and Officer Edwards were not only partners but were also best friends. He bore witness to his best friend's relationship with the defendant and the only voice the victim would ever have."

"Overruled." Judge McKenzie once again sided with the DA.

"So what happened when you and Officer Edwards reached the defendant's apartment?" Michael continued questioning Jeff Tailor.

"I dropped him off and waited for him in our cruiser. While he was in Ms. Sidle's home, I was called by dispatch to a 518, a no-injury vehicle accident, so I decided to leave him there and proceeded to the 518 on my own since it was just a routine call."

"And what happened when you returned from your call?"

"I decided to go to Ms. Sidle's apartment and get Officer Edwards. When I approached her door, I sensed something was wrong since her door was slightly ajar and there was no noise whatsoever inside. I identified myself as PD, entered cautiously and found the living room in complete upheaval. That was when I saw Blake, Officer Edwards, propped up against the sofa, unresponsive with two bullet wounds to the chest and abdomen."

"And then what did you do?"

"I informed dispatch of an officer down and cleared the scene per protocol."

"Was the defendant present in the apartment when you arrived?"

"No."

"Did you find a weapon at the scene?"

"Yes."

The DA held up a gun enclosed in plastic evidence bag. "Is this the weapon?"

"Yes."

"Does this weapon belong to the defendant?"

"Yes. The gun is standard 9mm issued to all law enforcement officers and is registered to Ms. Sidle."

"Thank you Officer Tailor. No further questions Your Honor." Michael strolled back to his chair and sat down as Jason proceeded toward the bench.

"Officer Tailor, did you physically see Ms. Sidle when you dropped Officer Edwards off at her apartment?"

"No." Jeff Tailor shot a look at the DA as he mentally prepared for the next question.

"So, can you safely say that there is a possibility that someone else could have snuck in and shot Officer Edwards to death?"

"Objection! Speculation!" Michael anticipated Jason's move and challenged him.

"Your Honor, I am trying to establish reasonable doubt since the witness implied that my client shot his partner when he was not even present when the crime took place."

"Overruled." Judge McKenzie cocked his head at Michael as he addressed him. For once, Jason felt he had a chance with this judge. "Witness to answer the question."

"Yes, but…" Jeff Tailor began his reply only be interrupted by Jason.

"No further questions for this witness." Jason cut him off and headed back to the defendant's table as Sara looked up at him with hope.

Michael shot out of his chair before Jason got the chance to sit on his. "Officer Tailor, please tell the court about Ms. Sidle's gun that was found at the crime scene."

"The Crime Lab processed the gun and ballistics verified that both bullets found on the victim came from the same gun. Also the only set of prints lifted from the weapon belonged to Ms. Sidle."

"Thank you Officer Tailor." Michael turned and strolled back to his table.

"You may step down Officer Tailor. Court is now adjourned until ten o'clock tomorrow morning." Judge McKenzie pounded his gavel loudly as everyone stood up.

* * *

"What do you know about Officer Jeff Tailor?" Grissom asked Sara as they headed out the courtroom. 

"Not much. Only he was Blake's partner." Sara could see Grissom's eyes brightened up, reflecting his thought process. "Why?"

"Just a hunch."

_**

* * *

**_

**_TBC_**

**A/N**: The dispatch code 518, a no-injury vehicle accident, used by Officer Jeff Tailor in this story is an actual code belonging to the San Francisco Police Department. Each PD has its own set of complaint codes. LVPD does not have any code above 500.

**A/N2**: FYI, I am taking a lot of liberty with the timeframe for the trial. I realize that the judicial process doesn't move at light speed but as an author, I would like to finish this story by the end of summer, if not sooner. So please, humor me. Thanks for your time as always. :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: **Again, these CSI characters do not belong to me. I do not own any creative right to any CSI character. They belong to CBS and whomever with the big clams at CSI Production Company so please don't sue me.

**Rating: M**.

**A/N:** Sorry for the really late posting of this chapter. In a moment of pure muse gone wild, I signed up for the geekfiction Summer Reading Ficathon. I worked on that piece and took a few detours along the way with several writing assignments so this story had been in back burner. So, this is it, the final chapter. Time to tie up the loose ends and bid temporary farewell to my wonderful readers out there. Thanks to all of you who are still interested in reading this story. You are my inspiration! Peace…

* * *

**Chapter 10**

"Sara, we missed something."

Sara jerked her head in his direction as Grissom looked up from the thick folder he was reading.

"Someone, actually." He gave her the look that he usually saved for his last entry of the daily crossword puzzle.

"I love your mind, Griss…" She walked over from the kitchenette to where he was sitting in the living room. "I just wish I can read it sometime."

"Oh, sorry." He gave her a sheepish grin and scooted over a bit so she could settle down beside him on the loveseat. "I found a name in the police report but no one had mentioned her as a possible witness yet. I am really curious about her story."

"Who is it?" Sara was now intrigued with his new discovery.

"A Mrs. Florence Miller."

"My next door neighbor?" She looked at him, wide-eyed.

"Do you know her?" Grissom squinted over his reading glasses at her.

"Not really." Sara looked away from him as she continued in false levity. "As you can tell, I am not exactly a social butterfly."

"Social? No." He spoke softly as he eyed her profile. "Butterfly? Yes. And a rare and beautiful one too. In fact, one of a kind."

She turned back to face him, surprised at the tenderness in his voice. Unsure of a response to such a compliment, she decided to focus back to her case even though her eyes displayed the tangent thoughts she was feeling at the moment. "I don't remember reading her statement and I went through that folder many, many times."

He suddenly became self-conscious and glanced quickly back to the folder in his hand. "The report only says she was interviewed by PD but no record of what was said on file. That is quite odd don't you think?"

Sara suddenly jumped up and pulled Grissom to a stand, "C'mon, how about we pay my neighbor a social call?"

"Now? It's nearly midnight and we have court tomorrow." His gaze followed her lithe body, surprised at her enthusiasm.

"You have never let that stop you before…" Sara grinned at him, tugging him harder.

* * *

"Mrs. Miller?" Grissom inquired over the small open gap between the door and its frame, a metal chain rattled disquietly as the door was yanked open. 

"Who are you?" A gray hair lady in her late eighties stared through the air gap at Grissom.

"My name is Gil Grissom and this is Sara Sidle, your next door neighbor." He gestured with his thumb toward Sara behind him. "We're here to ask you a few questions about the night of the shooting over at Sara's place."

"I already told the cops everything I knew."

"Yes, I am sure you did Mrs. Miller. But unfortunately, the cops seemed to have lost your testimony so do you think you can help us out and clarify for us what exactly happened that night?"

"Those damn cops just can't get anything right." Mrs. Miller ranted as she jiggled with the metal chain, freeing it from the doorjamb and let the door swing open.

"Thank you so much for helping us Mrs. Miller." Grissom gave the old lady his most charming smile as he and Sara stepped over the threshold. He closed the door and followed Mrs. Miller to her living room.

"Sit. I'll go make some tea. I figure you two will be here for awhile." Mrs. Miller grumbled as she stalked off to her kitchen.

* * *

Dr. Jan Baker eyed Grissom as she walked past him on her way to the witness box. Their parting ways was anything but amicable. She had felt that she was losing him even before the accident but after that disastrous night, she knew then that he wasn't prepared to spend his life with her. The day he found out that Sara Sidle had quit her job and left Las Vegas, he just completely shut down. Jan had fought hard to make the relationship work but in the end, it was Grissom that walked away without a second thought. 

"Dr. Baker, what is your relationship with the defendant?" Michael Alexander paid her with utmost attention.

"I don't really have a 'relationship' with Ms. Sidle per se, but more of an association through my former fiancé." Jan Baker held her chin high as she directed her answer toward the jurors.

"Please clarify for the court to what you mean by 'association'."

"I was engaged to Dr. Gil Grissom and he and Ms. Sidle shared a relationship before I met him."

"Did that relationship continue after you were engaged to Dr.Grissom?"

"Not that I knew of but after his accident, she was with him every day in the hospital." Jan looked accusingly at Sara across the courtroom.

"Do you think her being with him in the hospital constituted a normal co-worker relationship?"

"No."

"How do you classify that behavior?"

"As a clinical psychologist, I will have to say that's textbook obsessive behavior." Jan smirked again at Sara.

"Objection! The witness is not here to testify in the role of a court appointed psychologist." Jason looked incredulously at both the DA and Jan.

"Sustained." Judge Carl McKenzie turned his attention toward the court stenographer and added, "Please strike out the witness's last statement."

"No further questions." The DA smiled at Jason as he walked back to his seat. Even though the judge overruled him, the damage was already done. "Your witness."

Jason approached Jan and began, "Who ended the engagement between you and Dr. Grissom?"

"Objection! Relevancy!" Michael spoke up from his side of the courtroom.

"Your Honor, I am trying to establish the objectivity of this witness concerning her testimony against my client."

"Overruled."

"Dr. Baker? Do you need me to repeat the question?" Jason inquired.

"No. Gil did. He ended the engagement." Jan's face was composed but her voice betrayed her inner turmoil.

"Why did he end the engagement?"

"He was upset after _she_ left him and moved away." Jan's icy tone raised a pitch higher.

"And did you know why Ms. Sidle suddenly quit her job and moved to San Francisco?"

"How should I know. I think she was just playing mind games with Gil and getting back at me for telling her to stop seeing him at the hospital since I thought it was totally inappropriate of her to spend every waking moment with someone else's future husband." Jan suddenly gasped at the realization of what she had just confessed and immediately clamped her mouth shut.

Jason nodded at her and turned his head toward the judge, "I am done with this witness."

* * *

"The People would like to call Dr. Gilbert Grissom to the stand." 

Grissom walked purposely toward the front of the courtroom, raised his right hand swearing to tell the truth and nothing but, and settled himself in the witness box.

The DA approached Grissom. He stopped three feet in front of Grissom then dramatically faced the jurors. "Dr. Grissom, please state to the court your relationship with the defendant."

"Sara Sidle is my friend and former colleague." Grissom stated simply.

"Have you and the defendant ever been sexually involved?"

"Objection! Relevancy!" Jason stood up so abruptly that his chair almost fell backward.

"Your Honor, I am trying to establish the intimate nature between the defendant and the men in her relationships. This information is critical in establishing her obsessive behavior which resulted in tragedy or near tragedy for the men involved with her, especially in the case of Officer Blake Edwards."

"Overruled." Judge McKenzie sided with the DA. "Please answer the question Dr. Grissom."

Grissom had always been a firm believer in the truth and justice but this one question had really tested his faith in the system.

"Dr. Grissom?" The DA eyed him expectantly, a predator ready to devour its prey. "Have you -"

"Yes!" Grissom cut him off before Michael had a chance to repeat the damaging question. The courtroom was suddenly quiet, all eyes staring at him.

"Is that why she was obsessed with you and followed you to Las Vegas?"

"Objection! DA is leading the witne--"

"I'll rephrase that. Why did Ms. Sidle come to Las Vegas to work for you and was she obsessed with you?"

"She wasn't obsessed with me." Grissom shook his head lightly as he smirked at the DA. "It was I who was obsessed with her and talked her into coming to Vegas."

The courtroom fell eerily silent once again as all eyes focused on the middle-aged entomologist.

Michael sensed his line of questioning was not going as planned and quickly aborted it. "Dr. Grissom, was Ms. Sidle present when you were hit by a pick-up truck over a year ago?"

"Yes."

"Why were you out in the middle of nowhere with Ms. Sidle on the night before your wedding?"

"I went looking for her and couldn't find her at her apartment so I drove around until I found her on the side of a road with a flat tire." Technically, he was telling the truth. He wasn't lying when he said he wanted to find her that night.

"Why were you looking for her?"

"I don't know." Grissom shook his head as he gazed at the DA under heavy eyelids. "I just wanted to see her, to tell her how I felt about her."

"When you say you wanted to tell her how you felt about her, were you trying to break off whatever relationship you had with her before your wedding?"

"Objection! DA is leading -" Jason once again was cut off by the DA's tactic.

"Please tell the court what you were planning on telling her that night." Michael quickly rephrased his question for the second time.

Grissom remained silent, thinking.

Michael sensed his hesitation and swooped in for the kill. "Please answer the question Dr. Grissom. Also remember that you're under oath."

Grissom sighed as he eyed Sara across the courtroom. "I wanted to tell her that I love her."

* * *

"Your Honor, the Defense would like to call a Mrs. Florence Miller to the stand." Jason Bennett spoke up. 

"Objection! The People motion for disqualification of this witness since her name was not made aware to the DA's office."

"Counsels, approach the bench." Judge McKenzie gave each lawyer an annoyed look. "What is going on here?"

Jason was the first to speak. "You Honor, we have just discovered the existence of this witness this morning and we did notify the DA's office of our discovery an hour ago."

"Your Honor, the Defense is not playing fair. An hour does not give us ample time to do the necessary background check and prepare cross-examination."

"How much time do you need?" The Judge asked the DA point blank.

"At least a day Your Honor." Michael pulled out his delaying tactic.

"You have until three." Judge McKenzie grabbed his gavel and announced a court recess until the afternoon.

* * *

Sara eyed him through lowered lashes as he stood making sandwiches and salads in the kitchenette. He had been avoiding any discussion of his testimony since they left the courthouse and drove back to their apartment for the noon break and recess. And she suspected she knew the reason why. 

When he caught her gazing at him then quickly diverted her eyes, he raised an brow in her direction, "What?"

"Nothing."

"That was not a 'nothing' look you just gave me." He handed her two plates of grilled cheese sandwiches and approached the small dining room table with a large bowl of salad.

He was looking at her intently as they settled down for lunch, ultimately forcing Sara to break her silence, "Must have been hard on you."

His eyes made a brief downcast glance at his plate then looked up at her again, "I meant every word I said today in court."

"Which ones?"

"Sara…" He sighed, hand reaching out to capture hers into his. "I… I just don't know why it's always so hard to… to express my feelings for you." His other hand pushed his lunch away from him, appetite lost. "You always seem to bring out the worst in me…"

"Oh, that supposes to make me feel better." Sara quipped.

"That didn't come out right." His lower lip pursed as he eyed his hand, thumb twirling gently the back of her hand. "What I meant was, you make me tongue tied when you're around, craving you like a drug when you're not, going out of my mind when you're with another man, and scared out of my wits of the day when you'll lose interest in me…"

Sara just stared at him in disbelief.

Grissom continued before Sara had the chance to interrupt him. "My life had always been in perfect control until I met you. You… you turned everything upside down and I… I lost balance. If I don't think about work, then I think of you. When you're finally in front of me, I just can't think at all."

Sara stood up and walked over to him, eyes brimming with tears. He pushed his chair back a little as his arms came out to pull her onto his lap. She cradled his head against her chest, her fingers weaving through his curls. She took a deep breath and spoke softly, "You too bring out the worst in me. You make me over talk when you're around, feeling empty when you're not, screaming your name when I am with someone else, and scared out of my wits of the day when you find me no longer a challenge…"

She paused momentarily as a runaway teardrop escaped down her cheek. He pulled himself slightly away from her to let his right hand come up, wiping the tear away as she pressed on, "My life had always been in perfect order until I met you. You made me wished I had never met you and was glad to have met you at the same time. If I don't think about work, then I think of you. When you're finally in front of me, I just don't think at all."

"No one has ever loved me like you do…" His voice was barely audible when his hands cupped her face as she rested her forehead against his, "… and I… I have never loved anyone like I love you…"

Sara tilted her head a little to the side as her lips met his. The gentle fluttering of lips progressed rapidly to the need to explore and feel each other when his tongue found hers. A soft moan grew in crescendo from deep inside her throat as he nipped his way down her neck, sending goose bumps rippling like wildfire down her body.

When their staccato breathing signaled the kiss was no longer enough to satisfy the growing needs to love and be loved by their lips and hands alone, Grissom pulled away briefly as his eyes pierced into her desire laden ones, "Are you still hungry?"

"Yes, but not for grilled cheese sandwiches." She smirked at him, full of innuendoes. She got up from his lap and proceeded to lead him to the bedroom.

They made love like never before. Their intimate dance was not for physical release but for the emotional assurance they both desperately needed. His mouth worshiped every inch of her body to remind her that she was loved, and she deserved every ounce of that love and he was reciprocated with the love only a few were fortunate enough to experience in a lifetime. Afterward, he held her tight in his protective arms as she stretched languishingly along his body, her toes playfully stroking the inside of his calves.

"Why do you love me?" His question caught her by surprise. "I mean I am old, set in my ways, stubborn and have nothing to offer you."

She kissed his chest as she replied, "Because you're you. I don't want you in any other way."

"Really?"

"Really."

He kissed the top of her head and scanned at the clock on the dresser. "I hate to say this but I think it's time to get back to court."

"Do you think the judge will find us in contempt if we don't show up?" Sara asked jokingly as she sat up on the bed.

"Knowing this judge, he probably will." Grissom jumped out of bed to find his scattered clothing. "I heard somewhere that this judge and our favorite DA are golfing buddies. Be smart and try not to piss him off too much."

Sara found her own clothes and began to dress. "I can't wait to see the DA's face when he hears Mrs. Miller's testimony."

"Me too, though I suspect he already knows what she's about to disclose."

"You think?"

"Yeah. There is a reason why her testimony was not in the report in the first place."

"A cover-up?"

"Jason and I have discussed the possibility and we think we found a way to clear you of the murder charge." When Grissom finished knotting his tie, he turned to Sara and said mysteriously, "And we're going to need you to help us."

* * *

"Officer Tailor, may I have a word with you?" Sara found Jeff Tailor getting out of his squad car in front of his house. 

Jeff Tailor turned around to find Sara staring at him expectantly. He gave her a low chuckle and nodded his head, "I heard about the old lady testified on your behalf this afternoon."

"Did you also hear that she picked out your picture from a line up?" Sara pursed her lips as she eyed Jeff Tailor.

Jeff gave her an arrogant smirk as he stared back at Sara, challenging her. "That doesn't prove anything. As I stated in court, I went back to that apartment to look for Blake and found him dead. End of story."

"She saw you went in, heard the second gunshot and saw you leaving moments later."

"Hmm… that lady must be senile because why would I want to kill Blake?" Jeff leaned against his cruiser as he smiled confidently, "I have no motive for killing my partner."

"That's where you're wrong. ATF and the FBI knew about the arm smuggling venture that you two were involved in." Sara saw surprise and panic in Jeff's eyes even though his exterior stayed deadly calm. She decided to press on, "You knew Blake was about to rat you out and so when you saw the opportunity to finish him off, you took it and blamed it on me."

"You have no proof Sara." His voice reeked with guarded threat. "You're just groping for evidence that doesn't exist. As a CSI, you should know you don't have a case against me."

"No need." Sara smiled at him. "You're forgetting that Blake wired himself every time he went out and had boxes full of recordings."

Jeff's face turned pale but retained his placid demeanor.

Her smile grew wider at him as she goaded him on, "You _didn't_ know about the recordings, did you?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"That night when he came to my apartment and attacked me, he told me a lot of things and one of those was he killed someone because of me." Sara suddenly turned serious as she lowered her voice, "I didn't think much of it until I remembered he mentioned something about how that person was about to smoke him out. It didn't make any sense since Blake already turned informant so why the fear of being ratted out to the Feds?"

Sara eyed Jeff's calm façade as she continued, "Then it dawned on me that someone was about to divulge his cover and he took action. You, as his partner, found out about the murder, and knew then that Blake was on the other side of the fence. Being afraid for your own sorry ass, you killed him and framed me."

Jeff's facial muscles turned into a myriad of unreadable expressions. "You can't deny that it was your gun that shot him."

"Yeah, but I only shot him once in self-defense." Sara's brows crunched in reply. "Autopsy confirmed that it was the second shot that really killed him. I now have a witness and a box load of recorded conversations between you and Blake and the people you both worked for."

"You're bluffing." Jeff said as he gauged her face.

"No. I think when Blake killed that informant, Ramon Ramirez, he realized that his time was getting short. I didn't think much about it when he showed up one day at my work place with a box, asking me to keep it safe for him." Sara stared back at him, assessing his next move in the game of mental chess. "I totally forgot about it until this afternoon when my co-worker delivered it along with my other personal stuff from work."

"I want the tapes."

Sara kept her cool as Jeff took the bait. "Sorry, no can do. I just wanted to let you know before I –"

Before Sara could finish her sentence, Jeff grabbed her forcibly by the arm and shoved her into the back seat of his squad car. She tried to kick him but was rewarded with a backhand that knocked the wind out of her and made her landed squarely inside the cruiser. As Jeff was about to enter the driver seat, Sara heard running steps as Special Agents shouted, "Stop! FBI! Don't move!" and sounds of scuffling as she caught glimpses of the FBI pulling Grissom off of Jeff Tailor.

Grissom was immediately at her side as he helped her out of the police car. "You're ok honey?"

"Yeah, I am fine." Sara tried to reassure Grissom that she was all right but he didn't seem to buy her explanation. "Really."

He hugged her as he led her away all the while eyeing her face. "If I had known that that son of a bitch would dare to hit –"

Sara grabbed his arm and shook her head, "Griss, it's over… it's finally over. It was worth it."

Realization hit him and he just hugged her tight. "I guess the bluff worked."

"Yeah, sure did." She pulled away from him and smiled, "Take me home, Griss."

* * *

**Epilogue **

"Good night Sara!"

"Good night Melissa!" Sara waved to her co-worker while reaching for her jean jacket that was draped haphazardly over a beat up chair as she left the Los Angeles Women's Shelter.

It had been a year since she was acquitted of Blake's murder charge and had since moved on with her new life. She no longer worked for the San Francisco Crime Lab. Instead, Sara found her new purpose in life; one she would like to think of as a greater calling. After the trial, she spent three months volunteering for the Women's Shelter in San Francisco helping out the abused, the abandoned, the on-the-run and the nowhere-to-go. These women came from all walks of life, some came alone, others pregnant, and a lot with young children. They had been so bruised by life that they no longer knew the meaning of purpose, only survival. These women loved no bound but that love was returned with betrayal and heartache, sometimes death. Sara felt for each and every one of these women, and their children. It was like reliving her childhood all over again, only this time, she had the power to do something about it, to change the future for others even if only one life at a time. And it had given her purpose.

After three months, she applied for a permanent job at the LA Shelter, helping out a bigger location and she had been there ever since.

Sara leisurely strolled out of the Shelter to find Grissom waiting her at his usual place, leaning against his vintage Mercedes. When he saw her walking toward him, he bent down to unleash the boxer and nudge the dog in her direction, "Go to Mama!"

The honey colored canine ran at full speed and welcomed her with enthusiasm, almost knocking her backward on the sidewalk. Sara laughed as she tried to balance herself. "Whoa! I missed you too baby!" And she rewarded him with a kiss on his forehead.

"I think Papa deserves a kiss too, don't you think?" Grissom approached her, a teasing smile on his lips.

"Oh yes, definitely!" She threw her arms around him as her lips pressed firmly against his.

"Hmm, I should pick you up more often." His bottom lip pursed into a playful smirk as they pulled away from each other.

"Very funny Professor Grissom." Sara cocked a brow at him. "What do you mean 'more often'? You pick me up everyday at the same time and place."

"Oh yeah, I forgot." He wrapped his arm around her waist and led her to the passenger side of the waiting car.

"So, how was your day?"

"Usual, though I think there are more students interested in forensic science in my class now as compare to the previous quarters." Grissom reflected momentarily as he ushered her into his car, their tail wagging, drool dripping baby climbed onto the back seat behind her. He then quickly entered to the driver side and started the drive home.

After her trial, Grissom had requested early retirement from the Las Vegas Crime Lab and had moved to San Francisco to be with her. He assured her that his time in Vegas was over and there was no reason for him to stay. Sara had felt guilty at first but then he surprised her by announcing that a teaching post was available at UCLA and he had been offered the job. Without much thought, they had packed up everything, headed south and finally settled in his childhood hometown of Marina Del Rey.

For the first time in her life, Sara had a place that she could call home and had someone to come home to, someone whom she loved dearly and who loved her back with such intensity that baffled her at times. Looking at him now, excitedly recounting his day filling unspoiled minds with new knowledge, she couldn't help but stare at his animated face. Emotions stirred within her and her hand automatically reached out for his. He eyed her briefly, then gave her hand an assuring squeeze and continued driving.

"Penny for your thoughts." He offered after he realized that she was spacing off.

"No thoughts." She smiled at him. "I am just happy."

"Good, because I have a question I'm meaning to ask you." He peered at her out of the corner of his eye to make sure he had captured her attention.

"Yeah?" Sara turned fully to face him, contentment evident on her face. "What is it, hun?"

"Sara… will you marry me?"

* * *

_**FIN**_

**Acknowledgements**

I would like to thank those of you who had made my very first foray into the fanfic world a memorial one. This had been a very fun ride for me and hopefully for you too. I hope I did not disappoint anyone.

This story is dedicated to…

Those who left wonderful reviews and encouragements:

_amanda, amisha.pineapple, AnaRita69, Andsowego, brandie.d,__ catysmom, contrarymotion, CR1-GSR, E. Dagger, GG, GRISSOM LOVER 07, GSR4EVA, gsrfan, gsrshipper, Haldir's Heart and Soul, hollyu, inlovewithgsr, inspiron, Jenn, Joyce, junebugg, KAY, LadyforAsh, laughter.is.the.best.medicine, Lauren, leafsgirl, LeslieSidle, Liz00, marina kroskinsque, Ming1, MySoap, Nickye4, SaraLou, sugarXcouture, TDCSI, Titch22, Vanessa M'Lynn_

Those who put this story on their favorite list:

_catysmom__, elrenia77, Fannie Butler, GRISSOM LOVER 07, KSG-CSI, LadyforAsh, laughter.is.the.best.medicine, lovethegsr, PiroKitty, PurplePopple, Rhee, smartalecGS_

Those who put this story on their alert list:

_Amanda Hawthorn, __amisha.pineapple, AnaRita69, __aussieforgood, BlackRose86, Bower, __catysmom, contrarymotion, __CSIFan101, CSIfanGSR, CelticStar15, Cutrack, Dolphtat, Doubtful Aussie, EmmaElizabeth, fakebeebite21, GRISSOM LOVER 07, __GSR4EVA, __gsrfan4ever, __gsrshipper, __guitar73girl, Hollysgirl, hyper-chipmunk, imz, __inlovewithgsr, inspiron, __irismoon, Izabel343, JaysBaby, jd07, juliachurch, KHaynes725, __LadyforAsh, __LeslieSidle, __Liz00, __Lovely Light, Lovely1, MSCSIFANGSR, MajicaFilms, Minti23, Missy-AhKi, __MySoap, __nicky j, NickyStokes, NrwaRebel, orsi, papillongirl, Peggiegg, Princess Amalee, RenLissa, run4cover, shania1277, S-Kean1986, starbuckjade, __sugarXcouture, TDCSI, __Tahoe, tikismile, __Titch22, Vanessa M'Lynn, __vsky, xenalovesgabby_

And to the community, _Geeklove to the top, _for listing this story for their readers.

Thanks and as always, until we meet again…

_litbuff_


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